CSR guy: I swear to God, if [Becca] wasn’t pregnant I would have tackled her.
515 N State Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Archive for July, 2015
It’s For Really Long Plaques
Puzzled Irish girl: Look at that! Magnetic bookmarks! What a stupid idea!
Puzzled boyfriend: Why?
Puzzled Irish girl: Well, where are you ever going to find a metal book?
Puzzled boyfriend: Hmm, yeah, you’re right.
Perth, Australia
Overheard by: Gina
Congress Should Make Hashtags a Controlled Drug
Reporter: Dude, her tweets were all over my site. And they weren’t even relevant!
Palo Alto, California
Professor Prospero Is Interdisciplinary to a Fault
Grad student presenter: … So we think that the protein might be diffusing.
Professor: Well, according to the dream I had last night, that couldn’t happen.
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Especially When You’re Hung Over?
Whiny cube dweller: But I just really enjoy my sausage in the morning, ya know?
Coburg, Oregon
Her Withdrawal From Popular Culture Began in the Eighties and Was Complete by 1998
Younger girl: So the guy who played Kramer turned 57 this week. I had no idea he was that old!
Older woman: Kramer? You mean from the movie Kramer vs. Kramer?
Younger girl: Who? Um, no. Kramer. Kramer from Seinfeld.
Older woman: Who?
Younger woman: This is probably why we don’t talk more, huh?
323 East Grand River
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Pam Beasley
When Kirstie Allie Dreams
Coworker, eating wasabi peas: I was about to put two big ones in my mouth!
Hawthorne, New York
5PM Finally, the Weekend
Office Manager: It’s like apples and oranges: they are all the same.
15530 Herriman Boulevard
Noblesville, Indiana
None of Us Are, Kid — We’re All Just Fakin’ It
Newbie: I told you, I’m not brave enough to be a real waitress!
US-285
Conifer, Colorado
So It Was an Accident of Sorts
Male manager: You weren’t in another accident, were you?
Female cube dweller: No. I pooped.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
