Middle-aged suit #1: Rob always wears the same suit every day, no matter what.
Middle-aged suit #2: Skank.
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Has lower standards
Archive for June, 2015
But, Sadly, Never in the Same Room As a Map
Manager: Be sure that you take a coat with you if go over there, because when it’s warm here, it’s cold there.
Employee: In England?
Manager: Yeah, their summer is like our winter.
Employee: I don’t think so.
Manager, frustrated: Well, it’s true. I went there in May, and it was freezing. I had to wear a jacket all the time. They’re in, like, a different hemisphere, or something.
Employee, laughing: No, they aren’t. They’re just further North than we are, and their climate’s a little different. Australia’s in a different hemisphere. England is in the same hemisphere that we are — North… West.
Manager, in a cold fury: Look. I’ve been there.
Hamilton Drive
Smithfield, North Carolina
Overheard by: westward ho
2PM Update Files
Admin: One of our districts is having trouble modifying a document from our website.
Graphic Designer: It can’t be modified. It’s a PDF.
Admin: Right. So I was wondering if you would turn off the PDF so they can make their changes.
Graphic Designer: …Um, no.
2100 I‑70 Drive SW
Columbia, Missouri
If a Fax Falls in a Forest…
Secretary: If we fax something to someone, and our machine is out of ink, will they still get it?
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Reception
The First Stage Of Work Grief Is Denial
Coworker receiving work back that wasn’t done properly: No way! I know I did it right! I must have a computer virus. Maybe I need a defrag? There’s no way I had errors! I triple checked it!
York, Pennsylvania
5PM See You Then!
Assistant: What year is it now?
Manager: 2005
Assistant : Still? Okay! It’s so easy to forget what year it is, isn’t it?
Manager: Not really.
Assistant: So it’s 2006 in–
Manager: January 1st!
Commercial Road
Hull, East Yorkshire
UK
Overheard by: Simon Green
*Shakes Head*
Man #1: Can you help me? Because you look pretty intelligent.
Man #2: <nods head>
Man #1 (pulls out son’s math homework): <reads question from math homework>
Library; Tampa, FL
As The Village People Will Explain
Coworker, about military uniforms: When you look at young sailors, you can tell the ones who polish and the ones who don’t.
Madison, Wisconsin
…Well, Have You Ever Babysat Before?
Cubicle drone on phone: So not only is it wild, but it’s attached itself to you?
Plains, Pennsylvania
I Only Drive Drunk in Moderation
Suit: It was 6 hours of nonstop powerdrinking. My wife was at a Christmas party and asked me to pick her up, and I said, “Even I would not get behind the wheel now!”
350 Madison Ave.
New York, NY
