Archive for June, 2015

But, Sad­ly, Nev­er in the Same Room As a Map

Man­ag­er: Be sure that you take a coat with you if go over there, be­cause when it’s warm here, it’s cold there.
Em­ploy­ee: In Eng­land?
Man­ag­er: Yeah, their sum­mer is like our win­ter.
Em­ploy­ee: I don’t think so.
Man­ag­er, frus­trat­ed: Well, it’s true. I went there in May, and it was freez­ing. I had to wear a jack­et all the time. They’re in, like, a dif­fer­ent hemi­sphere, or some­thing.
Em­ploy­ee, laugh­ing: No, they aren’t. They’re just fur­ther North than we are, and their cli­mate’s a lit­tle dif­fer­ent. Aus­trali­a’s in a dif­fer­ent hemi­sphere. Eng­land is in the same hemi­sphere that we are — North… West.
Man­ag­er, in a cold fury: Look. I’ve been there.

Hamil­ton Dri­ve
Smith­field, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: west­ward ho

The First Stage Of Work Grief Is De­nial

Cowork­er re­ceiv­ing work back that was­n’t done prop­er­ly: No way! I know I did it right! I must have a com­put­er virus. Maybe I need a de­frag? There’s no way I had er­rors! I triple checked it!

York, Penn­syl­va­nia

5PM See You Then!

As­sis­tant: What year is it now?
Man­ag­er: 2005
As­sis­tant : Still? Okay! It’s so easy to for­get what year it is, is­n’t it?
Man­ag­er: Not re­al­ly.
As­sis­tant: So it’s 2006 in–
Man­ag­er: Jan­u­ary 1st!

Com­mer­cial Road
Hull, East York­shire

Over­heard by: Si­mon Green

*Shakes Head*

Man #1: Can you help me? Be­cause you look pret­ty in­tel­li­gent.
Man #2: <nods head>
Man #1 (pulls out son’s math home­work): <reads ques­tion from math home­work>

Li­brary; Tam­pa, FL