Employee: I just flew in from Spain yesterday, I’m totally jetlagged.
Department head: Spain? Is that in a different time zone?
4220 N. St. Louis Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Archive for May, 2015
The Goats Don’t Care for It, Though
Lab guy on cell: What did you just say to me? Oh, goat porn! Yeah, I like goat porn, too.
Science center
Long Island, New York
Certainly Cheaper Than Making the Office Handicap Accessible
Female coworker: If we put a bit of vaseline on it he probably could have slid right in!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: David
So If You’re So Smart, How Do They Put Out the Fires, Then?
Man #1: No, you’re not fucking listening here. There are no fire hydrants in the ocean.
Man #2: But we could…
Man #1: Oh my God. No fire hydrants! Are you hearing me? There are no fire hydrants in the ocean!
Insurance office
Woodbury, New York
And What’s a ‘Document’?
Employee: Hey, Bertha*, can you help me send a fax? It’s been so long since I’ve had to use this.
Bertha: Okay, well, put your document face up here, and then enter the number here, and press “start.”
Employee: What number?
Bertha: The fax number you’re sending to?
Employee: Oh, am I supposed to know that?
208 Raleigh Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: snoopdude
We All Had Appetites, but You Rectum
Postal employee: I'm about ready to eat the butthole of a cow.
Post Office
Michigan
You're Talking to a Sandwich Artist, Ma'am
Customer, ordering every single item on a sub: And olives, and banana peppers, and lettuce… oh, and a little splash of that vinaigrette, I like it messy.
Kearneysville, West Virginia
Like “Chubby” and “Spanky” Were Any Better?
Employee #1, reading newspaper: This guy’s name is Poon Tang! I can’t believe they printed his name!
Employee #2: Isn’t Poon Tang something they said on The Little Rascals?
Knoxville, Tennessee
10AM Conference Call
Coworker #1: Is Florida’s time zone one or two hours behind us?
Coworker #2: I’m not sure. It’s pretty far south, so probably two.
235 Promenade Street
Providence, Rhode Island
12PM Catch Up on Paperwork
Service Manager: Really, you have to stop bring these back to me.
Office chick: No, you just need to do them right in the first place.
215 US Route 1
Falmouth, Maine