Archive for April, 2015

Why Any­one Would Speed To Work is Be­yond Me

Co-work­er #1: We should send out a memo about un­safe dri­ving.
Boss: Was the un­safe dri­ving on com­pa­ny prop­er­ty?
Co-work­er #1: No.
Boss: Was the un­safe dri­ving in a com­pa­ny ve­hi­cle?
Co-work­er #1: No.
Co-work­er #2: Then there’s noth­ing the com­pa­ny can do about it. I mean, I speed to work all of the time.

3 Al­can High­way
Kiti­mat, British Co­lum­bia

Over­heard by: Ne­mi­sis

In Trib­ute to What God Did on the Eighth Day

Wor­ship leader: So, we’re gonna drop the last verse of ‘Awe­some God.’ I think it sounds bet­ter that way.
Pas­tor: Okay, any­thing else?
Young wor­ship mu­si­cian: Well, I got­ta blow out­ta here pret­ty soon.
Pas­tor: So, let me get this straight — he’s drop­ping and you’re blow­ing?

Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

News­Flash: In­di­anapo­lis Chur­ro Scan­dal!

New­bie: I need to use the re­stroom.
Wait­er: If you need to shit you’d bet­ter get here be­fore the Mex­i­cans get in the em­ploy­ee bath­room. I don’t know what the fuck they eat, but their shit smells like it has sug­ar on it.

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana