Suit: On days other than Fridays, slacks are preferred. If you must wear jeans, black jeans are permitted, because they can look like, uh, a slacks process…is…happening.
490 S. Center Street
Reno, Nevada
Overheard by: Good Guy
Archive for February, 2015
…A Crème De Menthe Frappé Hardly Counts
Male employee: Did you see the check stop?
Female employee: What? Where!
Male employee: Right outside the office.
Female employee: Why do they have a check stop there? It’s only 3:15 pm. Who drives drunk at 3 pm on a Wednesday?
Male employee: John would, but he’s stuck here right now!
John, overhearing from office: Hey!
Calgary
Canadia
Regardless, Your Hand Should Not Be There
Unseen man in cubicle: I’m not touching it. I’m just mooshing it!
W 46th St
New York City, New York
Garnishing Assholes Seems Like a Very Specific Sexual Fetish
Employee #1 to employee #2: Hey, what’s that called when they take your money out and you have no control?
Employee #2: Fucked?
Employee #3: Garnish, you assholes!
Wyandotte, Michigan
Overheard by: Tom
Sorry About Your Special-Needs Phone, Ma’am
Server to hippie-looking female customer with big smartphone: That’s a big phone.
Customer: Yeah, it’s the actual case of the phone that makes it big. I’m clumsy so it needs the equivalent of a football helmet. (pause) And I’m really important.
Durango, Colorado
Overheard by: nrr
He Was Quickly Eliminated from The Price Is Right
Customer: Do you have seven-packs of nuggets?
Cashier: We have eight or twelve.
Customer: Oh, wonderful. I’ll take twelve.
Orange City, Florida
Overheard by: laughing
I Replaced Somebody Who Went Looking for It
Customer: Where is the fresh pasta?
Clerk: I don’t know. I’m new here, too.
Lompoc, California
Overheard by: Still Searching
He Believes Chrysler Daimlered For Our Sins
Boss on the phone: What religion is he?…That makes sense that he drives a Jeep then.
Northbrook, Illinois
Overheard by: AHHH!!
Well I’m Not Sore, for One Thing.
Advisor #1: Wow, you’re really almost done packing up your office. All the rainbow stuff is gone…
Advisor #2: I never had any rainbow stuff up. It was just colorful.
Advisor #1: True. It’s like the party’s over.
Advisor #2: Yup. The make-up’s off. My hair’s messed up… Can’t find my underwear.
Advisor #1: Wait, how is that different from any other day?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Daniel
Reader Poll: Which Is More Obscene?
Communications manager: So what did you do this weekend?
Female site admin, as garbage truck drives by: I rediscovered Lionel Richie.
Communications manager, confused: You discovered lesbian orgies?
Female site admin: Wow.
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
