Telemarketing instructor #1, analyzing recorded call: Does heavy breathing count as “filler language”?
Telemarketing instructor #2: Not at this call center.
Boston, Massachusetts
Archive for January, 2015
11AM Crisis Management Meeting
Boss: You’ll be happy to know that we asked accounting to open up a billing code for “unstrategic planning.”
5340 Alla Road
Los Angeles, California
No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service, People!
Waiter to other servers: Okay, just so everyone knows, there's a Sasquatch loose somewhere in the bathroom.
Chicago, Illinois
I'll Just Use the Toaster and Hope for the Best
Office manager, heating up lunch: “Just add water and microwave for four minutes.” No, that has too many directions.
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Confused
Tonight's Movie: The Phantom Of the Performance Review
Account manager, yelling across the hall: He needs you to bring more photo paper, and black ink.
PR exec, yelling back: A black cape?
Account manager: No, ink!
PR exec: A cape?
Account manager: He wants ink!
PR exec: Why does he want a cape?
London
Canadia
12PM Work on Hospital Marketing Campaign
Co-worker #1: Can I use the abbreviation RNA?
Co-worker #2: You mean, like the stuff in your blood?
Co-worker #3: What’s the abbreviation for “the customer’s a jerk”?
962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas
10AM Annual Volunteer Project
I-banker: Why can’t we just donate money to hire people to do this work?
2615 W. 84th Place
Chicago, Illinois
It Was the ‘Let’s All Go to the Lobby’ Promo
Lady peon: Oh my god, last night I saw the most confusingest movie ever.
Barnie’s Coffee and Tea
Jupiter, Florida
Overheard by: Bored Coffee Girl
Not from One Of Those Little Packages, Though.
Art teacher, looking at another eating Pringles: Pringles are the perfect chip, based on the texture, shape, and lines. They fit perfectly in your mouth.
History teacher: I don't know. If you asked me, I'd just prefer a Lay.
Teacher's Lounge
Marvell, Arkansas
Overheard by: They Let Me Teach Children
Most Extras in Hollywood Are Golems Now
Foreign producer on phone: I tell him it’s okay if you’re dead… We’ll make from him a midget…
Film studio
Hollywood, California