Archive for 2014

They’re Having Their Annual Gala Next Door

Office liar: The Navy hires very conservative people to captain nuclear submarines.
Male coworker: Really?
Office liar: Yeah, every nuclear submarine captain I’ve ever met has been very level-headed.
Female coworker: How many nuclear submarine captains have you met?
Office liar: Hundreds!

West Loop
Chicago, Illinois

Or to the Statistically Inevitable Divorce Celebration

Cube dweller #1: For my wedding the colors were black and white. So I took my bridesmaids to the dress shop and told them to pick out whatever dress they wanted. They all ended up picking the same one.
Cube dweller #2: Well, that's nice.
Cube dweller #1: Of course they picked the most expensive dress, but I didn't have to pay for that part.
Cube dweller #2: And I bet it was a nice bridesmaid dress that they could wear again and again.
Cube dweller #3: Yeah, like to a funeral.

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: eavesdropping cube dweller

Feel Better Now?

Lady worker answering phone: Hi Alex*! … I knew it was you because this is a 321* area code, and you work in Boston and it wasn’t your home number… And if it wasn’t you, then I was prepared for your boss to be calling me telling me you fell off a stool, hit your head, and wound up dead on the floor.