Archive for 2014

I Don’t Know about You, but I Am Not Working after Death

Pilot over intercom: Sorry, folks. We’ve just lost power to one of our engines. Looks like our arrival time in Washington will be 40 minutes behind schedule.
Disgruntled woman: Better hope we don’t lose that second engine.
Travel partner: Yeah, really.
Disgruntled woman: If we’re 80 minutes late we’ll miss that meeting!
Travel partner: Wait, what?

Flight from Bradley International
Windsor Locks, Connecticut

Seems No One Is Safe from the Quality-Control Spies

Customer: Do you have a copy machine?
CSR: Um, no… This is a book store.
Customer: Yeah, but I just want to copy this book.
CSR: We sell books.
Customer: But I don’t want to buy it, I just want to copy it.
CSR: Then maybe you should try a library. We sell books.
Customer: But I’m here now, and I want to copy this book.
CSR: Look, okay, buy the book take it down to Kinkos and copy it, then return it.
Customer: I think that’s illegal. I’d like to report you to your manager.

Book store
Pensacola, Florida

Overheard by: Michelle

What Are the Odds Of This Conversation?

Temp: “do you realize how poor the odds were for each of us…”
Secretary: “to win the lottery?”
Temp: “no.”
Secretary: “oh. When you said ‘odds’ I thought…”
Temp: “odds can apply to more than the lottery.”
Secretary: “hm. Well if I were a millionaire, I’d buy a bathtub full of b. C.’s best chronic and – after rolling around in it – smoke it all and run around the city.”

1040 West Georgia Street, Vancouver, BC

Overheard by: Frida