Archive for 2014

I Don’t Know about You, but I Am Not Work­ing af­ter Death

Pi­lot over in­ter­com: Sor­ry, folks. We’ve just lost pow­er to one of our en­gines. Looks like our ar­rival time in Wash­ing­ton will be 40 min­utes be­hind sched­ule.
Dis­grun­tled woman: Bet­ter hope we don’t lose that sec­ond en­gine.
Trav­el part­ner: Yeah, re­al­ly.
Dis­grun­tled woman: If we’re 80 min­utes late we’ll miss that meet­ing!
Trav­el part­ner: Wait, what?

Flight from Bradley In­ter­na­tion­al
Wind­sor Locks, Con­necti­cut

Seems No One Is Safe from the Qual­i­ty-Con­trol Spies

Cus­tomer: Do you have a copy ma­chine?
CSR: Um, no… This is a book store.
Cus­tomer: Yeah, but I just want to copy this book.
CSR: We sell books.
Cus­tomer: But I don’t want to buy it, I just want to copy it.
CSR: Then maybe you should try a li­brary. We sell books.
Cus­tomer: But I’m here now, and I want to copy this book.
CSR: Look, okay, buy the book take it down to Kinkos and copy it, then re­turn it.
Cus­tomer: I think that’s il­le­gal. I’d like to re­port you to your man­ag­er.

Book store
Pen­saco­la, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Michelle

What Are the Odds Of This Con­ver­sa­tion?

Temp: “do you re­al­ize how poor the odds were for each of us…”
Sec­re­tary: “to win the lot­tery?”
Temp: “no.”
Sec­re­tary: “oh. When you said ‘odds’ I thought…”
Temp: “odds can ap­ply to more than the lot­tery.”
Sec­re­tary: “hm. Well if I were a mil­lion­aire, I’d buy a bath­tub full of b. C.’s best chron­ic and – af­ter rolling around in it – smoke it all and run around the city.”

1040 West Geor­gia Street, Van­cou­ver, BC

Over­heard by: Fri­da