Archive for 2014

You Call Your Mom by Her First Name?

Voice mail, on speak­er­phone: Hi, you’ve reached the voice mail of Lin­da Stevens*. I am away from…
Man­ag­er: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…
Voice mail: [Beeps.]Manager: Lin­da! Will you give me a call when you get a chance? Thanks!

175 5th Av­enue
New York, New York

Aus­tralia?

Fe­male cowork­er #1: Why are you look­ing at my stom­ach?
Fe­male cowork­er #2: I ain’t look­ing at your stom­ach. I am look­ing *down there*.
Fe­male cowork­er #1: What’s “down there”?

New York City, New York

And It’s a Lit­tle Yeasty

Writer #1 on con­fer­ence call: Man, I can hear that douchebag on the oth­er end.
Writer #2: And I can smell his fail­ure from here.

Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Hear No Evil


Just Does­n’t Add Up

IT man­ag­er, sigh­ing loud­ly: I was just in ac­count­ing. Don’t go over there.
Sec­re­tary: Why not?
IT man­ag­er: Be­cause it’s ac­count­ing!
Sec­re­tary: (con­fused si­lence)
IT man­ag­er, sigh­ing: Well, for starters, Bob is wear­ing a Tig­ger shirt.

Kansas City, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: Not THAT Ca­su­al Fri­day