Archive for 2014

But God, I Miss Sales!

Employee #1: It only stays smooth like a baby’s bottom for about 12 hours.
Employee #2: Maybe… And you’ve got to lube it up pretty good.

1200 Woodward Heights
Ferndale, Michigan

No.

Customer: Can I have one of these items that is in a box?
Employee: Of course [retrieves item].
Customer: Can you check to make sure it isn’t broken?
Employee: No problem! [Cuts tape and opens box.]Customer: Great! Now, can I have one that hasn’t been opened?

670 University Avenue
Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
Canadia

Overheard by: Shaking Head in Disbelief

But You Don't Have AIDS

Office guy: I have to steal some condoms from my parents. (pause) Wait. Their brand probably doesn't work–they had me.

Manhattan, New York