Archive for 2014

That’s More of a Lam­b’s Name

Su­per-rich boss’s wife: So you know how we al­ways call my hus­band God?
Em­ploy­ees at lun­cheon: [Puz­zled si­lence] Su­per-rich boss’s wife: Se­ri­ous­ly, you know how we call him God?
Em­ploy­ees at lun­cheon: [Si­lence] Su­per-rich boss’s wife: Well, I bought him a horse! And we’re go­ing to call it Je­sus! Is­n’t that hi­lar­i­ous?

2725 Hen­ry Street
Au­gus­ta, Geor­gia

3PM Fi­nal­ize Sched­ules

Boss: Could you tell me what your hol­i­day va­ca­tion is go­ing to be?
Em­ploy­ee: I will be tak­ing 2 weeks off as I am hav­ing a prob­lem with my vagi­na.

5 min­utes lat­er: a group email ask­ing every­one to please email their sched­ule.

1755 River­side Dri­ve
Ot­tawa, On­tario
Cana­dia

Con­firmed: Boston is Heck

Work­er #1: If we work here much longer, we are go­ing to die and go straight to hell.
Work­er #2: Oh, yeah? Check the ad­dress on your busi­ness card…where did you think you’ve been work­ing?
Work­er #1: Oh! Well, that ex­plains the lack of pro­mo­tion, com­pen­sa­tion, ben­e­fits, of­fice pol­i­tics and your dead-man’s tan!
Work­er #2: Close, but the “tan” is from the flu­o­res­cent lights.
Work­er #1: Hell is as hell does.

800 Boyl­ston Street
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts