Archive for 2014

But I Don’t Speak It Hob­bit­u­al­ly

Guy #1: Why is The Lord of the Rings CD in your bag?
Guy #2: It’s a good sound­track, man! A good movie!
Guy #1: You fuckin know El­ven!
Guy #2: I don’t know El­ven.
Guy #1: You can read El­ven.
Guy #2: I can’t read El­ven!
Guy #1: Well, you can do some­thing with El­ven!
Guy #2: I can rec­og­nize El­ven!

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Lu­larow

God: I Ac­tu­al­ly Can’t Stand Watch­ing Peo­ple Chew

Dude #1: I have a mas­sive pe­nis.
Dude #2: Dude, you don’t even have pubes!
Dude #1: Want me to pull one out?
Dude #3: Do you have no shame?! Do you think God stops watch­ing you at the lunch ta­ble?! And, Co­co, you know you have an av­er­age-size pe­nis.

Gas­ton Chris­t­ian School, 1222 North Hope Road
Gas­to­nia, North Car­oli­na