Office girl #1: I wish Chinese places would deliver around here!
Office girl #2: They do. You have to pay a service fee but they will bring you food.
Office girl #1: But I don't live around here, so how does that help me?
Maryland
Archive for 2014
Can I Go Home Sick Now?
Advising office applicant to interviewer: Yeah, advisors are worthless.
6001 Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Brandy
You Don’t Have to Be Stupid to Work Here, But It Helps
Woman: I thought I was a smart person, but no, I’m not.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
12PM Prep for Big Meeting
Secretary #1: It looks nice, don’t it?
Secretary #2: Did you just say, “it looks nice, don’t it?”…Doesn’t it! I’m just trying to get us ready for the bigwigs next week!
Secretary #1: It don’t matter, sweetie.
10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan
Overheard by: Abigail Fisher
After Violet Became a Blueberry, It Took Years of Plastic Surgery to Turn Her White Again
Mother to small child: I already spent all of my money on your face.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: beckz
He Keeps Telling Me It's What Jesus Would Do
Sales rep #1: So last night I told my husband I don't believe in anal sex.
Sales rep #2: Really? How'd that go?
Sales rep #1: Not so good.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
He Was Like, “How'd You Know??”
Colleague, typing important serious e-mail to client: Ooops! I typed “sorry for any incontinence!”
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: PMSL
It’s Quite Possible That Women Have Dirtier Minds Than Men
Female coworker: Why do you shake your mustard like that?
Male coworker: To mix it up real good so I don’t get the pre-mustard on my sandwich.
Female coworker: I am never eating lunch with you again.
West Lexington Street
Baltimore, Maryland
“Deadline” Seems Even Worse, Somehow
HR head: So, when's the, uh…I guess, “drop-dead date” for your baby?
Hugely pregnant admin: Uh…what? You mean the latest date before my doctor induces?
HR head: Yeah. The drop-dead date.
Hugely pregnant admin: Wow.
Phoenix, Arizona
His Name Was Ibid.
Coworker: I just think young people don't have good work ethnics. (a couple minutes later) My grandfather was a very interesting man. I wrote a bibliography about him.
Saskatoon
Saskatchwan
Canadia