Employee: Let me ask Roxanne to void it. She always cusses me when I void and toggle.
Nashville, Tennessee
Archive for October, 2014
Stupid Hillbilly Heroin
Pharmacist #1: We really need to stop doping before work, because this just ain’t workin’.
Pharmacist #2: Yeah…
405 Heathrow Court
Burr Ridge, Illinois
Overheard by: The Zar
On Facebook.
Drive-thru cashier #1: He doesn’t know you’re pregnant, does he?
Drive-thru cashier #2: No, he’ll find out… the hard way.
Newmarket
Ontario
Canadia
One Of the Premises Behind Every Reality TV Competition
Manager: Oh, good. As long as she doesn’t know what she’s doing, we’re okay.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: BeccaGo
Plausible Deniability
Attorney: I need a [investi]gator for a hand job.
Staff: Ha, ha! You mean a ‘hand delivery’?
South Jefferson Avenue
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Left Lobe
3PM Coffee Break
Employee #1: Sometimes I just get caught up in all this stuff, it’s so hectic.
Employee #2: You have to stop once in a while and find some sunshine.
Employee #1: I’d rather just find some moonshine.
50 West State Street
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jimmy Fingers
The Animal Metaphor Police Won’t Be Laughing
Obnoxious coworker on conference call: Well, if a Dachshund is the amount of time you have, and you use a giraffe to represent growth… People will be laughing.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
When Organ Donation Goes Awry
Male store clerk: She’s only seven, but she had the breasts of a thirty-year-old.
Kroger Supermarket
Overheard by: AmberRose Smiles
Terrorism Totally Counts as Labor
Host: Well, I think that’s going to be September 11th. Check the calendar.
Computer tech: September 11th? Isn’t that something important? Oh, that’s Labor Day, right?
Host: 9–11.
Computer tech, looking clueless: Ohhh. Well, okay.
421 NW Riverside Drive
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: Amanda
9AM Back to Work
Engineer: Don’t make me laugh. It spreads germs.
700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas
