Archive for 2012

Hap­py Holideath, Every­body!

Fi­nance ed­i­tor: I hate the bub­ble in can­dy canes that pre­vents me from stab­bing some­one.
As­sis­tant, laugh­ing: Feel­ing a tad homi­ci­dal this hol­i­day sea­son?
Fi­nance ed­i­tor: I just like to be able to stab.

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Long Dis­tance Learn­er

Every Of­fice Has This Guy.

Man­ag­er at copy ma­chine: Oh. I jammed it. Sor­ry. (walks away with stuff with­out fix­ing)

Marl­bor­ough, Mass­a­chu­setts

…She Al­so Hap­pens to En­joy Lick­ing Vagi­nas.

Male cowork­er: She’s a leslie.
Old­er fe­male cowork­er, sound­ing judgey: Just be­cause she wears a lot of plaid, does­n’t mean she’s a les­bian.
Male cowork­er, sound­ing an­noyed: Her last name is Leeeeesssssleeeeeey.

Marl­bor­ough, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Dawn Eliz­a­beth

But That’s Our Spe­cial Re­la­tion­ship!

Sales man­ag­er: Here’s a num­ber for my friend Jamie*. She’s the ship­ping man­ag­er over at Nes­tle and she’s look­ing for new bro­kers to book loads through.
Freight bro­ker: Oh, great, thanks. But out of cu­rios­i­ty, what is it that you do for her?
Sales man­ag­er: I help her find her shoes when she’s drunk.

Fort Mill, South Car­oli­na

Pret­ty Fly for a White Hound

Mar­ket­ing as­sis­tant: If I had a dog that small I’d build him a para­chute and see if he could fly.

Ok­la­homa City, Ok­la­homa

Over­heard by: In­no­cent by­stander

When ISO 9000 Goes Too Far

Man­ag­er: Hey! How did the re­stroom go yes­ter­day?

Mid­dle­boro, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: MC