Archive for 2012

Happy Holideath, Everybody!

Finance editor: I hate the bubble in candy canes that prevents me from stabbing someone.
Assistant, laughing: Feeling a tad homicidal this holiday season?
Finance editor: I just like to be able to stab.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Long Distance Learner

Every Office Has This Guy.

Manager at copy machine: Oh. I jammed it. Sorry. (walks away with stuff without fixing)

Marlborough, Massachusetts

…She Also Happens to Enjoy Licking Vaginas.

Male coworker: She's a leslie.
Older female coworker, sounding judgey: Just because she wears a lot of plaid, doesn't mean she's a lesbian.
Male coworker, sounding annoyed: Her last name is Leeeeesssssleeeeeey.

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Dawn Elizabeth

But That's Our Special Relationship!

Sales manager: Here's a number for my friend Jamie*. She's the shipping manager over at Nestle and she's looking for new brokers to book loads through.
Freight broker: Oh, great, thanks. But out of curiosity, what is it that you do for her?
Sales manager: I help her find her shoes when she's drunk.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Pretty Fly for a White Hound

Marketing assistant: If I had a dog that small I'd build him a parachute and see if he could fly.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Innocent bystander