Archive for 2012

Oh, Nothing… A Little Anal Rape or Whatever

Patient, lying on exam table in the middle of a gynecological exam: Hey, is that my phone ringing?
Nurse: Uh, I think so.
Patient: Hand me my pants.
(nurse hands patient her pants)
Patient, taking cell out of pants: Hello? (pause) Oh, nothing… What are you up to?

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Vicky


So I Only Bought a Couple

Office lady: Well, sure I've purchased meat off the back of a truck, but these guys were selling lobsters! That's just weird.

Burlington, Massachusetts


Double-Entry Bookkeeping Can Get Ugly

Accountant: After pushing really hard and screwing with it for five minutes, I asked Sue* if I could cuss now. So, I went up to Liz* and asked “did you get your fucking nuts?”
Admin: Did she?
Accountant: Yes, Tim* pulled them out with his man hands.

Dallas, Texas


…I Keep Getting Distracted by My After-Work Plans.

Office lady: And then you can check your code changes into the suppository.
Manager: “suppository?”
Office lady, after blinking for a few seconds: Oh god, repository. (pause) The repository. Ugh.

Los Angeles, California


…When You Were Out Of Town

Coworker on phone to new husband: I put the washing in this morning… Yeah, the towels… Yeah, your gym kit… I also put the bedsheets in, as they were a bit spunky after the other night.

Durham
England

Overheard by: *Head in Hands*