Archive for 2012

As Ye Sewer, So Shall Ye Leap, I Suppose

<b>customer service rep:</b> okay… I just hit myself with the bathroom door…
<b>sales manager:</b> you're just accident prone, aren't you?
<b>cs:</b> yeah, on a daily basis.
<b>sm:</b> I think my favorite was when you messed up your toe and blamed jane* for leaving the filing drawer open.
<b>cs:</b> that was all jane's fault! She knows I don't look down!
<b>sm:</b> didn't your parents teach you to look where you're going?
<b>cs:</b> yes, I look ahead of me, in case I walk into a tree or something. Why would I look down?
<b>sm:</b> what if you fall down an open manhole?
<b>cs:</b> where are there manholes?
<b>sm:</b> I forgot, you didn't grow up in brooklyn. We didn't have trees, but we were very concerned about open manholes.

Fort Mill, SC

And All My Sister Wives Agree

coworker – that's really mean to say about my mom. Coworker #2 – no it's not about her. I said you look like an inbred baby. I didn't say you were inbred.

Fashion Place Blvd Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Taylor Hunsaker

Your Editors Just Got Heartburn

my favorite are crumb doughnuts. They're doughnuts covered in <em>other doughnuts</em>.

2701 N. sepulveda blvd. Los angeles CA

Her Breath Smells Like a Lovely Slaughterhouse

splitting up the meat in the office??
Boss: Just work it up from the base and squeeze it out.
Secretary: I know how to work a tube of meat.
Boss: My wife never has a problem working out a roll of ground beef.

Houston, TX

Why Roger Is Banned from Disney World.

i hope he's not making chili for the office chili cook-off. Boss to coworker "of course the tastiest mice are the ones you want."

42 and Dodge Omaha NE

And Salaries

Streamer: Hm, my pandora stream is really distorted for some reason. Like bandwidth or hardware issues.
Commercial sales: Oh, heads-up, they switched us to internet phones, so that's probably why.
Streamer: Whyyyy, that's so stupid, we already have a phone system.
Commercial sales: I know. Because it's ~the cloud~ like our lame new free online faxes and our new gmail accounts and and our google docs.
Streamer: You know what else is cloud-based? Farts.

601 N Lombardy St; Richmond, Va

Overheard by: Cash Ops