Archive for 2012

For Their Adorable Little Death Battles

Female coworker: It's a baby knife.
Perplexed male coworker: It's a paring knife.
Female coworker: No, it's a baby knife. For little babies!!

Chico, California

Pop-Tarts: Explained

Senior VP of administration: Is it weird that I don't like to see my own poo.
VP of operations: Wrap it in tin foil. That's what I do.
Assistant to VP of operations: Put it in the toaster.

Los Angeles, California

Apparently Northern California, Too.

Cubicle dweller: It's well known that southern California seeks to use the backdoor as much as possible.

Overland Park, Kansas

Rather Re-Vealing

Employee reading e-mail out loud: At least you are constantly changing your meat. (pause) Oh lord, did I say that out loud?

Itasca, Illinois

Overheard by: You sure did!

Actually, No One; I'm Just Here for the Bud Light

Rep #1: You'd think they'd put them away in the winter time.
Rep #2: Put what away?
Rep #1: Those.
Rep #2: The Ferris wheels?
Rep #1: Yeah, so they don't get all wet and snowed on.
Rep #2: Okay, where would you want to put them?
Rep #1, exasperated: I don't know; a garage?
Rep #2: Who the hell hired you?

Louisville, Kentucky

That Would Be Foreplay

Coworker #1: That guy is a real butt-licker!
Coworker #2: He's a what?
Coworker #1: You know, a butt-licker. He's always sucking up to management.
Coworker #2: Do you mean brown noser?

Atlanta, Georgia