Archive for 2012

Only If I'm Good

Office drone #1: Hey, are you coming to bowling?
Office drone #2: I'll let you know tomorrow, I have to check with my wife.
Office drone #3: Lame!
Office drone #2: Sorry, aren't you going on holidays with your mum?

London


Sweetie, That Was You on a Voicemail.

<b>customer service rep:</b> did we ever get original bills from mk? Didn't someone want them? Some crazy lady? Do you know what I'm talking about?… Do I know what I'm talking about?

Fort Mill, SC


Thanks for Nothing, Feminism!

Female coworker (asking permission to leave desk): Do you need me right now?
Male printer repairman: No.
Female coworker: That's what men always say to me…

Champaign, IL


To Be Fair, This Quote Is Hilarious If You're Stoned.

Non-native english speaker boss: The idee (pronounced I-d) is…
Native english speaker colleague interrupts: Did you mean idea? (highlighting the e-a part).
Non-native english speaker boss: No, unless you say te-a?! (pronouncing the e-a part as in the correct pronunciation of idea). Native english speaker colleague almost fell from his chair…

The Netherlands


The Broken Part

Co-worker: "I had to ask him, have you ever been told you an angina? He said I am a man, not a woman! Yeah, I didn't know at first. Its part of your heart."

Lincoln, NE

Overheard by: CA


Pics Or It Didn't Happen

<b>president:</b> you sure he's going to start hauling?
<b>vp:</b> yeah, his authority is pending, he's checking on that today.
<b>pres:</b> you believe everything men tell you?
<b>vp:</b> if I did, I'd have five kids and no daddies.
</b>pres:</b> all that means is you know how birth control works.
<b>vp:</b> or I don't believe guys who tell me they've had a vasectomy.
<b>pres:</b> guys lie about that?
<b>vp:</b> uh… Yeah…
<b>pres:</b> oh… I had a vasectomy, you know.

Fort Mill, SC


No Love for Female Genital Mutilation?

"the only thing worse than flying coach is an above ground pool." – my boss talking with a coworker while looking at facebook photos.

89 5th Avenue, NYC

Overheard by: Carly