Archive for 2012

…Hello?…Hello?…Oh, Fuck, I Did It Again.

Boss (to young painter): "why do you always have to get in my face when you talk to me? You wanna kiss me? Don't you realize I could gesture wildly and unknowingly knock you unconscious?"

Tell City, Indiana


…Sir

<b>customer service rep:</b> you are the dumbest motherfucker I have ever had the displeasure of having sexual relations with!

Fort Mill, SC


Did We Get Married and Nobody Told Me?

<b>controller:</b> I'll buy drinks if you're willing to swing by the gas station on the way back. Just so we don't have to drink city water with our delicious food.
<b>vp:</b> our water is filtered.
<b>controller:</b> fine whatever I don't care I hate you!

Fort Mill, SC


Wasn't That a Sesame Street Song?

Coworker #1 to other coworkers in elevator: This elevator got stuck with me in it yesterday! I was only stuck for about 30 seconds, but it was scary.
Coworker #2, cheerfully: It only takes 30 seconds to die!

Newton, MA

Overheard by: Hold Me


…Say “Case Of the Mondays” and Die, Buddy

it's monday morning and the lemmings are making their way in to their cubicles…
Employee #1: "how are you?"
Employee #2: "I don't know yet, but the trajectory is not looking good"

Delta, BC


I Think I've Seen This James Spader Movie…

Secretary: "you never tell me I'm right. You always have to find some tiny detail that's wrong!"
State's attorney: "my job is to make you all feel helpless when I'm not around."

Government Office in Chicago, IL