Archive for 2012

Your Editors Are Lovin' This

Customer: Can I get a medium vanilla thickshake? Thanks.
Cashier: I'm sorry, what?
Customer: Can I get a medium vanilla thickshake?
Cashier, looking confusedly at cash register: What flavor?
Customer: Vanilla.
Cashier, after long pause: What size?
Customer: Medium, or regular, or whatever the middle one is.
Cashier: (looks blankly ahead for a few seconds then gets manager)
Customer: Fucking hell.



Global VP: If I ever bring in bacon, you'll get the hot, floppy type!

Portland, Oregon

Since No One in Pennsylvania Has Any Black Friends.

Worker to coworker: Do you want to come to an all-black party on Saturday.
Coworker: Sure.
Worker: Make sure you bring some friends with you.
Coworker: Are you sure? They are all white.
Worker: What?! It's an all-black party as in the color clothes you need to wear!

Havertown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Megan

Why Penny Flunked Out Of Law School.

Admin, picking up manager's phone: Hello? Yes, hold on a second. (puts phone on hold, then to manager) It's Patrick, he really needs to talk to you.
Manager: Tell him I am not here.
Admin: Hello? She just told me I have to say she's not here, bye bye!
Manager: (furious stare)
Admin: Whaaat????


Overheard by: such a long day

Into Six Slices or Eight?

Overweight employee: Back away from my pizza or I'm going to fucking cut you.

New Milford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Not Hungy Anymore

Aren't We All, Honey?

Assistant to manager: Tim! Stop moving! I'm trying to get a piece.

Bloomington, Illinois

…Just Sign Here

Database admin: Housing… (sigh) I'm going to knife someone.

Washington, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: IT Guy