Archive for 2012

Liz Hides Her Other Five Personalities Relatively Successfully

Assistant: Sorry for ranting at you Friday. You had my position before me, so I kinda let it all spill out since you understand the personalities I'm dealing with.
Coworker: Oh, no problem. Anytime you want to vent, I know what you are dealing with so just let it out.
Assistant: Yeah, I can't vent to my family because they just tell me to move back “home”. And I can't vent to anyone else in the office like Sue*. I never know who she's going to talk to later.
Coworker: Yeah, that's true. She does like to talk
Assistant: Mh-mm. And I think she doesn't realize that Nice Liz* and Evil Liz are the same person.
(coworker laughs)
Assistant: Like, when Liz is in a good mood and being Nice Liz, Sue will tell her all kinds of stuff.
Coworker: I guess she doesn't think that Evil Liz and Nice Liz can talk to each other.

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

…From Previous Hugs

Coworker #1: Why are you sad? Do you need hugs?
Coworker #2: No. I smell like hot dogs.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Just the assistant

I Fuckin' Said “Bucky,” Okay??

Cubicle guy #1: Whoa, what did you just say?
Cubicle guy #2, who was mumbling to himself: Hmm? Oh, I was trying to remember a name. It's “Bucky”.
Cubicle guy #1: Oh. Whew.
Cubicle guy #2: I guess that's not what you thought I said.
Cubicle guy #1: No, and it caught me off guard. I've never heard you say naughty words of that caliber before.
(Cubicle guy #1 dials phone as cubicle guy #3 heads to his desk)
Cubicle guy #2, now on phone: Yes, Bucky please.
Cubicle guy #3: Whoa, what did you say?

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina