Archive for 2012

Liz Hides Her Oth­er Five Per­son­al­i­ties Rel­a­tive­ly Suc­cess­ful­ly

As­sis­tant: Sor­ry for rant­i­ng at you Fri­day. You had my po­si­tion be­fore me, so I kin­da let it all spill out since you un­der­stand the per­son­al­i­ties I’m deal­ing with.
Cowork­er: Oh, no prob­lem. Any­time you want to vent, I know what you are deal­ing with so just let it out.
As­sis­tant: Yeah, I can’t vent to my fam­i­ly be­cause they just tell me to move back “home”. And I can’t vent to any­one else in the of­fice like Sue*. I nev­er know who she’s go­ing to talk to lat­er.
Cowork­er: Yeah, that’s true. She does like to talk
As­sis­tant: Mh-mm. And I think she does­n’t re­al­ize that Nice Liz* and Evil Liz are the same per­son.
(cowork­er laughs)
As­sis­tant: Like, when Liz is in a good mood and be­ing Nice Liz, Sue will tell her all kinds of stuff.
Cowork­er: I guess she does­n’t think that Evil Liz and Nice Liz can talk to each oth­er.

Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

…From Pre­vi­ous Hugs

Cowork­er #1: Why are you sad? Do you need hugs?
Cowork­er #2: No. I smell like hot dogs.

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Just the as­sis­tant

I Fuckin’ Said “Bucky,” Okay??

Cu­bi­cle guy #1: Whoa, what did you just say?
Cu­bi­cle guy #2, who was mum­bling to him­self: Hmm? Oh, I was try­ing to re­mem­ber a name. It’s “Bucky”.
Cu­bi­cle guy #1: Oh. Whew.
Cu­bi­cle guy #2: I guess that’s not what you thought I said.
Cu­bi­cle guy #1: No, and it caught me off guard. I’ve nev­er heard you say naughty words of that cal­iber be­fore.
(Cu­bi­cle guy #1 di­als phone as cu­bi­cle guy #3 heads to his desk)
Cu­bi­cle guy #2, now on phone: Yes, Bucky please.
Cu­bi­cle guy #3: Whoa, what did you say?

Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na