Archive for 2012

Speaking Of False Economies

Nerd #1: Yeah, this time next year…
Nerd #2: Oh, yeah? You thinking of procreating?
Nerd #1: I try every chance I get.
Nerd #2: Nice! You should do it, it's really no big deal.
Nerd #1: Yeah, I mean, I know my life will change a bit, but it's one of those things that you just have to do.
Nerd #2: Yeah. I guess it'll be more exciting when he's like… a person.
Nerd #1: And can mow your lawn.

Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: still here on a friday

Why Jewelry Exists.

Office male: No, you remember. It was when we went to The Hamptons that summer. Like five years ago.
Office female: We've only been dating for three.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Patti

At Least the Sex Was Over Quickly

Coworker #1: I am so tired.
Coworker #2: Why?
Coworker #1: The plowing all night kept me up. It was louder than normal and I wish it didn't last so long.

Woburn, Massachusetts

You Always Were, Edna. You Always Were.

Constipated coworker, explaining to owner why she was off work for five days: I couldn't go to the bathroom, so they gave me this medicine. Haha! I guess you could say I really am full of shit now!

Shrewsbury, Pennsylvania

Your Editors' Heads All Just Exploded

Staffing employee: Hey, Kurt*, I don't know if we're allowed to fill this position. It involves using air guns and “other vibratory tools.” Do you think that's a restricted task?
Clueless boss: I don't know, you might want to check with risk management. I mean, all that vibrating might cause a problem for your hand.

Fort Lauderdale, Florida