Archive for 2012

You Mean, Like, The So­cial Net­work?

Of­fice girl #1: I hate the IT dept.
Of­fice girl #2: Yeah, I know, let’s go catch a movie this Fri­day.
Of­fice girl #1: They should make a movie about the IT dept.
Of­fice girl #2: I am not a hor­ror fan.

Rockville, Mary­land


When Re­cy­cling Goes Too Far

Fe­male cowork­er: So I fig­ured out the cause of my re­peat­ed pink eye…
Male cowork­er: Is it be­cause you use poop as a fa­cial mois­tur­iz­er? I know it’s re­al mois­tur­iz­ing and all, but you got­ta stop do­ing that!

Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: WD40


But This Is Fox, Sweet­ie

Stall dweller: I’m not touch­ing it while my hands are dirty. (sound of the toi­let flush­ing)

TV Stu­dio
Hous­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: Tail end of the con­ver­sa­tion


…Un­less You Want to Hear About My An­gry Case Of Crabs?

Clued-out man­ag­er on speak­er phone with of­fice door wide open: Hi, can I please speak to Mr D*?
In­audi­ble CSR on speak­er phone: (mum­bles over the phone)
Clued-out man­ag­er: It’s per­son­al.
In­audi­ble CSR: (more mum­bling on the phone)
Clued-out man­ag­er, rais­ing voice: It’s per­son­al.
In­audi­ble CSR: (more mum­bling on the phone)
Clued-out man­ag­er, yelling: I said it’s per­son­al!
(of­fice staff look over at man­ager’s of­fice)

Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Cue


Ham­mocks? Bril­liant!

Old­er fe­male cowork­er: So I’ll be out all next week. My hus­band I are go­ing camp­ing up the moun­tains with this oth­er cou­ple we’re friends with.
Young male cowork­er: Oh, so this is a swingers va­ca­tion?

Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia


Your Can­dor Leaves a Bad Taste in My Mouth

Of­fice guy, re­turn­ing from lunch: Did some­one take a bite out of my choco­late bar while I was gone?
Of­fice girl, sit­ting be­hind him: Your sus­pi­cions are cor­rect. Yes, I ate your can­dy bar. Yes, I bought a new one, bit it down with my teeth and put it back in here. Go ahead and eat it though, it’s per­fect­ly safe.

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Mykl­starr