Archive for 2012

And All My Sister Wives Agree

coworker – that's really mean to say about my mom. Coworker #2 – no it's not about her. I said you look like an inbred baby. I didn't say you were inbred.

Fashion Place Blvd Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Taylor Hunsaker

Your Editors Just Got Heartburn

my favorite are crumb doughnuts. They're doughnuts covered in <em>other doughnuts</em>.

2701 N. sepulveda blvd. Los angeles CA

Her Breath Smells Like a Lovely Slaughterhouse

splitting up the meat in the office??
Boss: Just work it up from the base and squeeze it out.
Secretary: I know how to work a tube of meat.
Boss: My wife never has a problem working out a roll of ground beef.

Houston, TX

Why Roger Is Banned from Disney World.

i hope he's not making chili for the office chili cook-off. Boss to coworker "of course the tastiest mice are the ones you want."

42 and Dodge Omaha NE

And Salaries

Streamer: Hm, my pandora stream is really distorted for some reason. Like bandwidth or hardware issues.
Commercial sales: Oh, heads-up, they switched us to internet phones, so that's probably why.
Streamer: Whyyyy, that's so stupid, we already have a phone system.
Commercial sales: I know. Because it's ~the cloud~ like our lame new free online faxes and our new gmail accounts and and our google docs.
Streamer: You know what else is cloud-based? Farts.

601 N Lombardy St; Richmond, Va

Overheard by: Cash Ops

Baltimore? He's Probably in Jail.

Assistant #1: Hey, is this guy dead? I went to the site for the university where he works and he's not mentioned anywhere on it.
Assistant #2: Um… I don't know. It's been a while. Maybe he's retired. Or yeah, dead.
Assistant #1: If he's dead, I don't have to send him anything, right?
Assistant #2: Well, you should probably check all the local obituaries just to be sure.

Baltimore, MD

…You Kike.

<b>director:</b> I'm not trying to be a nazi about this. Oh, sorry, you're jewish, that wasn't cool. I'm not trying to be hitler about this…

Fort Mill, SC

Are We Married Now?

male coworker sneezes.
Female coworker: Bless you.
Male coworker: Thank you. Beat.
Male coworker: You can bless me anytime.

3501 Northwest 63rd Street, OKC