Boss (to young painter): “why do you always have to get in my face when you talk to me? You wanna kiss me? Don’t you realize I could gesture wildly and unknowingly knock you unconscious?”

Tell City, Indiana

<b>customer service rep, walking to the bathroom:</b> are you going where I’m going?
<b>vp:</b> you wish.

Fort Mill, SC

Office worker, on phone: “hello. I’m calling to let you know that I’m divorced. Bye.” (hangs up).

47th & 6th, NYC

Overheard by: Akter11

<b>customer service rep:</b> you are the dumbest motherfucker I have ever had the displeasure of having sexual relations with!

Fort Mill, SC

<b>controller:</b> I’ll buy drinks if you’re willing to swing by the gas station on the way back. Just so we don’t have to drink city water with our delicious food.
<b>vp:</b> our water is filtered.
<b>controller:</b> fine whatever I don’t care I hate you!

Fort Mill, SC

Nurse #1: Don’t forget to stop by the conference room and get some pedophiles!
Nurse #2: That’s petits fours!

Nursing Home, SC

Coworker #1 to other coworkers in elevator: This elevator got stuck with me in it yesterday! I was only stuck for about 30 seconds, but it was scary.
Coworker #2, cheerfully: It only takes 30 seconds to die!

Newton, MA

Overheard by: Hold Me

it’s monday morning and the lemmings are making their way in to their cubicles…
Employee #1: “how are you?“
Employee #2: “I don’t know yet, but the trajectory is not looking good”

Delta, BC

Secretary: “you never tell me I’m right. You always have to find some tiny detail that’s wrong!“
State’s attorney: “my job is to make you all feel helpless when I’m not around.”

Government Office in Chicago, IL

“man, it’s just been on problem after another with trying to get a finger up this guy’s butt.” — er tech.

medical facility
small town, kansas