Archive for August, 2012

It Also Tells Me to Stab Things– What’s Up with That?

Male clerk: The water you boiled is ready. The kettle went off a couple minutes ago.
Female clerk: Oh, that’s okay. It has to cool. My tea packet has told me that the water has to be at 100 degrees.


Overheard by: J. Oliver

Customers Can’t Play the Race Card If You Won’t Let Them

Sales manager on phone: Hey, can you send me a better scan of your drivers’ license? I can’t see the picture in this, it’s just black. (pause) Yes, I know you’re black, but I’m sure you have eyes and a nose and a mouth, and I would love to see what those look like.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Since You Took Your Love Away…Wait, What Were We Talking About?

Peon #1: How long has it been since the last site visit?
Peon #2: It’s been several hours and 15 days…

Portland, Oregon

…Oh, My Darling!

Secretary to sales: Here, feel my clementine.

Mustang, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Orange you glad he didn’t say banana?

When the Stork Brings You a Little Girl, You Have to Razor.

Female coworker #1: The package has arrived!
Female coworker #2: Yes! Finally we can get her!
Female coworker #1: I’ll hold her down and you shave her legs, okay?
Female coworker #2: Yeah! Tonight we’ll do it!
Female coworker #3, clueless: What?