Em­ploy­ee #1: Well, why don’t you go to sec­ond shift?
Em­ploy­ee #2: I should!
Em­ploy­ee #3: Mandy would shoot you.
Em­ploy­ee #2: She would.

Cincin­nati, Ohio

Fire alarm en­gi­neer: That’s a beau­ti­ful shaft!

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: The_SuperVixen

Cowork­er on cell: Did you pick up the pre­scrip­tion? (pause) How about the coke and the ra­zors?

Woburn, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Chuck­ie

Cowork­er: Hel­lo, can I speak with Fredrick S Burg?
Cus­tomer: Ma’am, we don’t have a Fredrick S Burg here, but we live in Fredricks­burg, VA.
Cowork­er: (hangs up phone)

Land O’ Lakes
Flori­da

Cowork­er #1: I had the first an­i­ma­tron­ic doll, Archie Bunker, and he had a pee pee.
Cowork­er #2: You mean “anatom­i­cal­ly cor­rect”?
Cowork­er #1: Oh, yeah, that’s the word!

Win­ches­ter, Vir­ginia

En­gi­neer: It’s okay. It’s just chick­ens.

Den­ver, Col­orado

Over­heard by: Je­re­my

Re­cep­tion­ist on phone: John has a big one but not the huge huge one.

Val­paraiso, In­di­ana

Cu­bi­cle rat: It’s just a dick­ens world we’re liv­ing in…

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Boss to tamil guy: Don’t wor­ry, eat cur­ry!

Bern
Switzer­land

Over­heard by: Arveen and the Moth­er­fuck­ers