Employee #1: Well, why don't you go to second shift?
Employee #2: I should!
Employee #3: Mandy would shoot you.
Employee #2: She would.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Archive for June, 2012
Explain the U.S. Prison Population, If You're So Smart
Professor: They have 100% turnover. It's not that everybody quits, it's that half their employees quit twice.
Business School
Boston, Massachusetts
Debbie Does Drainage Failed to Find a Mainstream Audience.
Fire alarm engineer: That's a beautiful shaft!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The_SuperVixen
Remember When I Said to Come to Me If You Ever Had a Problem…?
Office drone: I'm trying to watch the We Bought a Zoo trailer and they keep showing the Contagion trailer. What the fuck?
Stamford, Connecticut
Diet or Regular Razors?
Coworker on cell: Did you pick up the prescription? (pause) How about the coke and the razors?
Woburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Chuckie
Fortunately Caffeine Serves As a Mental “Reset” Button
Coworker: Hello, can I speak with Fredrick S Burg?
Customer: Ma'am, we don't have a Fredrick S Burg here, but we live in Fredricksburg, VA.
Coworker: (hangs up phone)
Land O' Lakes
Florida
My Wife Got Custody Of Him in the Divorce
Coworker #1: I had the first animatronic doll, Archie Bunker, and he had a pee pee.
Coworker #2: You mean “anatomically correct”?
Coworker #1: Oh, yeah, that's the word!
Winchester, Virginia
Civil Engineers Don't Know Why Anyone Crosses the Road
Engineer: It's okay. It's just chickens.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Jeremy
When Employee Evaluations Become Too Thorough.
Receptionist on phone: John has a big one but not the huge huge one.
Valparaiso, Indiana
Here at the Old Curiosity Shop
Cubicle rat: It's just a dickens world we're living in…
Los Angeles, California