Coworker on phone to new husband: I put the washing in this morning… Yeah, the towels… Yeah, your gym kit… I also put the bedsheets in, as they were a bit spunky after the other night.
Durham
England
Overheard by: *Head in Hands*
Archive for February, 2012
When Ben Was Caught Repeatedly Googling “Cock”
Engineer: It’s okay. It’s chickens.
Denver, Colorado
Of a Potato-related Emergency?
Coworker, arriving to office: I brought a potato just in case.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Colleen Morgan
In That Reality Has No Undo Button
Database manager: Time travel is not a feature!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Arcblade
If he could impregnate you electronically, he would have.
Indian man on voice mail: Hello, my name is Joe*. I am calling for my friend Alan Warren*. This is for Susan*. Please give Alan a call. He would like you to be the mother of his children.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
In the Meantime, Fetch Me My Ten-Foot Pole.
Sales rep, in the middle of staff meeting: I am recycling my list to make sure I touch everyone.
Shrewsbury, Pennsylvania
For Their Adorable Little Death Battles
Female coworker: It’s a baby knife.
Perplexed male coworker: It’s a paring knife.
Female coworker: No, it’s a baby knife. For little babies!!
Chico, California
Pop-Tarts: Explained
Senior VP of administration: Is it weird that I don’t like to see my own poo.
VP of operations: Wrap it in tin foil. That’s what I do.
Assistant to VP of operations: Put it in the toaster.
Los Angeles, California
Apparently Northern California, Too.
Cubicle dweller: It’s well known that southern California seeks to use the backdoor as much as possible.
Overland Park, Kansas
Rather Re-Vealing
Employee reading e‑mail out loud: At least you are constantly changing your meat. (pause) Oh lord, did I say that out loud?
Itasca, Illinois
Overheard by: You sure did!
