Law firm partner #1: The 5th Amendment is a wonderful thing!
Law firm partner #2: Haha, I know… it’s so useful!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Harpua

Nurse to another: I’m a superuser and I don’t even know how to use it yet.
Tall nurse, walking into room: Oh, are you a superuser? Can you teach me?

Hospital
Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Carina Griggs

Office guy: Can I have one of your tampons?
Office girl: (stunned silence)
Office guy: Stamps! I meant stamps.

Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: Bill

VP: I’d rather have a prostitute wear my shoes than a rich woman.

Burbank, California

Overheard by: Urz

Receptionist: The guy from unit #1 is here, he’s have lightening problems.
Apartment handler: LIGHTENING PROBLEMS FROM HIS UNIT?
Receptionist: No, I mean lighting problems.

Real Estate Office
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Not Stepping in Water

Coworker, about another: She’s smart as a doorknob, smart as a button.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Public Transit Bureaucrat

IT on phone: Are you sure you are plugged into the right site? (pause) That just sounds wrong. It shouldn’t make those types of noises upon insertion.

Manhattan, New York

Woman #1: 2012 is the year of the dragon.
Man #1: My oldest son was born in the year of the rabbit, and my youngest son is a snake.
Woman #2: And I’m a cock!

Richmond, Virginia

Secretary: Have you ever watched Mythbusters?
Coworker: Yeah, and you know, I’ve been thinking about blowing up things a lot lately. My friend just married a pyrotechnic guy.
Secretary: Yeah, you can get hours of entertainment out of that stuff.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Cubicle 2.0

Accountant: I’m headed for the bridge.
Secretary: To jump off?
Accountant: Yep. If you see my shoes, you’ll know I’m gone.
Secretary: Why would you take off your shoes?
Accountant: Well, I won’t need ’em where I’m going!

Nashville, Tennessee