Archive for January, 2012

The Un­kind­est Pa­per Cut Of All

Of­fice guy: Can I have one of your tam­pons?
Of­fice girl: (stunned si­lence)
Of­fice guy: Stamps! I meant stamps.


Over­heard by: Bill

Don’t Wor­ry, He Still Brings the Thun­der

Re­cep­tion­ist: The guy from unit #1 is here, he’s have light­en­ing prob­lems.
Re­cep­tion­ist: No, I mean light­ing prob­lems.

Re­al Es­tate Of­fice
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Not Step­ping in Wa­ter

That Metaphor Has Some Holes in It.

Cowork­er, about an­oth­er: She’s smart as a door­knob, smart as a but­ton.

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Pub­lic Tran­sit Bu­reau­crat

How Com­put­ers Say ‘No’

IT on phone: Are you sure you are plugged in­to the right site? (pause) That just sounds wrong. It should­n’t make those types of nois­es up­on in­ser­tion.

Man­hat­tan, New York


Woman #1: 2012 is the year of the drag­on.
Man #1: My old­est son was born in the year of the rab­bit, and my youngest son is a snake.
Woman #2: And I’m a cock!

Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

You Should See Trick Can­dles

Sec­re­tary: Have you ever watched Myth­busters?
Cowork­er: Yeah, and you know, I’ve been think­ing about blow­ing up things a lot late­ly. My friend just mar­ried a py­rotech­nic guy.
Sec­re­tary: Yeah, you can get hours of en­ter­tain­ment out of that stuff.

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Cu­bi­cle 2.0

I Blame Ore­gon

Ac­coun­tant: I’m head­ed for the bridge.
Sec­re­tary: To jump off?
Ac­coun­tant: Yep. If you see my shoes, you’ll know I’m gone.
Sec­re­tary: Why would you take off your shoes?
Ac­coun­tant: Well, I won’t need ’em where I’m go­ing!

Nashville, Ten­nessee