Archive for 2011

And the Elves Who Assembled It in Their Hollow Factree

Engineer: It's a mini keyboard. I have a computer hooked up to my tv so I can browse the internet and watch p… movies.
Manager, laughing: I heard the “p.”
Salesgirl: Wait, so you lay in bed and play with it?
Manager: Actually, yes, that's exactly what he was saying.
Sales girl: Oh, can I touch it?
Engineer: Only me and the FedEx driver have touched it.

New York, New York

When Freudian Therapists Travel

Tourist: Excuse me, do you know where Randall's log cabins is located?
Local clerk: Randall's log cabins?
Tourist: Yes, do you know where they are located?
Local clerk: Where they are located?
Tourist: Yes, they are somewhere in this area.
Local clerk: In this area?
Tourist: Yes, do you know where they are?
Local clerk:Do I know where they are?
Tourist: Yes, Randall's log cabins, I need directions to it.
Local clerk: You need directions?
Tourist: How about a map, do you have a map of this area?
Local clerk: Do I have a map of this area?

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Overheard by: jocko james

Raise Your Hand If You're Curious About the Jam Incident

Puzzled IT worker holding tortilla in one hand and piece of raw cod in the other: So what you're saying is that this isn't sushi?
Coworker: It's not sushi.
IT worker: But it's raw fish!
Coworker: Well, sushi is a special kind of way of preparing it. That's just a piece of cod you bought from the fishmongers, wrapped in a tortilla.
IT worker: So… I shouldn't eat it?
Coworker: No… This is like the jam incident, isn't it?
IT worker: Fuck you! Jam is healthy–there's bloody fruit in it!
Coworker: And you wonder why you're single…

Leamington Spa

Overheard by: Bleep