Archive for 2011

Hu­man­i­ty, in a Nut­shell.

Aus­tralian guy: Yep. And then there are the guys that wan­na blow-dry their balls.

Out­side Fit­ness First
Lon­don
Eng­land

Over­heard by: So­phie


Some­one’s Seen Top Gun One Too Many Times.

Em­ploy­ee: So did you guys have a good time yes­ter­day?
Vis­it­ing em­ploy­ee: Yes, it was great. But at the end your boss tried to kill me, she took me to this in­sane­ly dan­ger­ous place with all these signs say­ing, “falling will re­sult in in­jury or drown­ing”. Not ‘may’ re­sult in in­jury or drown­ing, ‘will’ re­sult in in­jury or drown­ing! I’ve nev­er seen a warn­ing sign like that be­fore!
Em­ploy­ee: Of course she did.
Boss: But you have to ad­mit it is an in­cred­i­bly in­ter­est­ing and beau­ti­ful place.
Em­ploy­ee: I sup­pose she told you that it re­al­ly was­n’t that dan­ger­ous.
Boss, in­dig­nant­ly: No, I did­n’t! I told him *ex­act­ly* how dan­ger­ous it is! It’s just that I don’t care.

Li­brary
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton


Raise Your Hand If You’d Look

El­der­ly but sexy of­fice la­dy: Would you like to see my corset?
VP: No! I don’t want to see your corset!
El­der­ly of­fice la­dy: But why not?
VP: That would be to­tal­ly in­ap­pro­pri­ate. We don’t do that around here.
El­der­ly of­fice la­dy: Well, we don’t have to tell any­one about it.

Greens­boro, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Not the re­cep­tion­ist


I’m a Boy, Ma’am.

Re­cep­tion­ist to man­ag­er: You have a stump in your dinghy!

Rock­land, Maine


Meet the Coolest Chick in the Of­fice.

Woman on phone with col­league: You know how I al­ways like to put my feet in the toi­let be­cause they’re hot? Well, I thought about do­ing it here.

Man­hat­tan, New York


No­ti­fy the Vat­i­can Im­me­di­ate­ly!

Cube neigh­bor on phone with IT help desk: I turned off my pc last night and I turned it on this morn­ing and the screen is black, noth­ing is show­ing up.
IT: Is your mon­i­tor on?
Cube neigh­bor: Yes.
IT: Turn it off.
Cube neigh­bor: Oh, wow, it just start­ed work­ing! I won­der what hap­pened?

Mi­a­mi, Flori­da

Over­heard by: La­dy L