Archive for 2011

Shhh! I Want To Get an Edge on the Competition

Male coworker: You want to split this with me?
Female coworker: No, I can't. I'm fasting this week.
Male coworker: Oh, you mean practicing your anorexia?
Female coworker: Um… yes.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: cuatros

He Got Used to That in Prison

Employee #1: So your husband got moved to a new penitentiary?
Manager: Very funny. He's been out for several years. He's a great guy, I love him a lot.
Employee #1: We know you do. (raises eyebrow)
Employee #2: What? How?
Employee #1: She told us yesterday that she likes to wake her husband up with blowjobs.
Manager: How else did you think I woke him up?


It's Too Late for Me. So Run! Run as Fast as You Can!

Lady customer: Excuse me, I'm looking for stackable plastic drawers and they're not in the home organization section.
Ikea employee, standing next to manager: Oh, we don't really have those, but we DO have these other things that might work for you… (manager walks away) Yeah, we don't have 'em. Go to Target.

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: LC

At the Trouble Brewing Company

Female coworker #1: I want a baby with a happy temperament. With my luck, he'll prolly be all irritable all the time.
Female coworker #2: Well, if he's anything like you he'll be irritable. You should find a very happy husband.
Female coworker #1: He'll be married to me, of course he'll be happy.
Male coworker: I feel sorry for the guy that marries you. Shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud.

Chicago, Illinois