Archive for 2011

Your Ed­i­tors Can Ex­plain!

Ed­i­tor #1: I did­n’t have any of those charges on my card.
Ed­i­tor #2: Huh. Won­der what I did to war­rant a $700 charge from the ho­tel.
Ed­i­tor #1: Well, those cheer­lead­ers you or­dered…

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Just the as­sis­tant

Poor Court­ney Love

Boss to un­der­ling: Oh, look… there is a hole, it’s just filled with choco­late.

Ba­ton Rouge, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Big­Guy

What About An­gela from The Of­fice?

Male cowork­er to fe­male cowork­er: Hussy!
(fe­male cowork­er laughs)
Male cowork­er: I feel com­plete­ly com­fort­able call­ing you that.
Fe­male cowork­er: That’s okay. I know you mean it in a good way.
Male cowork­er: Would it both­er you more if some­one called you a hussy or a har­lot?
Fe­male cowork­er: De­pends on if they meant it in a bad way or not. But I think “hussy” sounds a lit­tle worse. There’s a right­eous har­lot men­tioned in the bible. There are no right­eous hussies in the bible.

Raleigh, North Car­oli­na

Zom­bies Are Un­de­mand­ing Col­leagues If You Feed Them

Dull male in­tern: So, what do you want to do in phys­i­cal ther­a­py?
New girl in­tern: Be­come a phys­i­cal ther­a­pist.
Dull male in­tern: Oh… I guess that makes sense.

Malvern, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Quick! Flex and grin!

…It’s a Kate Spayed

Cu­bi­cle la­dy #1: Is that a dog bark­ing?
Cu­bi­cle la­dy #2: That’s my purse bark­ing. (goes on to an­swer her cell phone)

Louisiana Street
Hous­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: Shiela

Al­ways an Ad­van­tage in Michi­gan

Cus­tomer: Oh, you’re left hand­ed. I heard that the ra­tio of right to left-hand­ed peo­ple is 9 to 1.
Man­ag­er: Yeah, but I heard that left-han­ders have a high death rate!

St. Joseph, Michi­gan

What’s Wrong With the Pub­lic Schools, Ex­plained

School prin­ci­pal, dur­ing on­line meet­ing on in­terof­fice com­mu­ni­ca­tions: Is the tele­phone con­sid­ered non-ver­bal com­mu­ni­ca­tion?
Teacher from dif­fer­ent school: Yes, since by de­f­i­n­i­tion non-ver­bal com­mu­ni­ca­tion is­n’t face-to-face.

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land