Archive for 2011

No Make­up Sex in the Con­fer­ence Room, Guys

Steve*, loud­ly to Tim* in con­fer­ence room with door shut: That’s how we are. We’re like an old mar­ried cou­ple… I don’t talk to my wife any­more, so I have to talk to you.
Work­er #1: It sounds like Steve* is get­ting worked up in there!
Work­er #2: It sounds like Steve* and Tim* might be get­ting a di­vorce!

Kansas City, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: It hap­pens to 50% of cowork­ers

Uh-Oh, Mrs. Her­nan­dez Just Keeled Over Again

Cowork­er #1: I don’t get why every­one’s so up­set about Mex­i­cans com­ing in­to the US. I mean, they’re al­ready part of the coun­try.
Cowork­er #2: Say what now?
Cowork­er #1: Mex­i­co’s part of the US, is­n’t it?
Cowork­er #2: Yeah, if by “part of the US” you mean a whole oth­er frig­gin coun­try.

Nurs­ing Home

Over­heard by: ah the fu­ture of amer­i­ca