Archive for 2011

Ideas Like That Are Why You're Employee Of the Month, Marv!

Deli manager, very seriously: I think that customer put the cricket in her lettuce. It couldn't have been in there when she was making her salad.
Underling: Well, why not?
Deli manager: You've seen how we do the lettuce. It's all chopped up. This was a whole cricket, not a bunch of little pieces.
Underling: So if we find pieces, can we use them in the hot bar?

Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: sliced turkey


Next: Pulling My Dandelions

Guy #1: Man, they're killing me. Is there something I can do to stop the digging?
Guy #2: Yes. Go to the local store and buy some (illegible). I baited every one of my holes and haven't had to worry about them since.

St. Louis, Missouri


Did the TV Answer?

Coworker: I kept seeing on the tv: “searching for satellite, searching for satellite.” I said: “what you mean searching for satellite; it's in the front yard!”

5th Ave
Manhattan, New York