Archive for 2011

What We Think: We Think This Was Scripted

COO, meeting colleagues at garage: I talked to the tech and he said the housings are leaking.
Sales VP: Yeah, Rob's pissed because he says our install was bad.
COO: We're going to have to get someone to re-seal all of that batch.
Sales VP: Which we can't bill for. We're going to take this one up the ass.
CEO: I'm thinking about getting a new tailpipe. What do you guys think?

Ontario
Canadia


Why the Intern's an Intern and the VP's a VP

Intern: Have you heard about that weed store, the Cannabis Club?
Paralegal: No.
Intern: Yeah, man, they have every type of food, just made with weed. Real heavy stuff, for people with cancer. You gotta have a card or something to be a member.
Paralegal: Oh yeah?
Intern: Yeah, but I say if you're going to be a stoner, don't be a wuss and not actually smoke.
VP, walking in: Wait, the Cannabis Club, isn't that in Orange County?

Encino, California

Overheard by: I need a membership too


You Ain't Never Been to Bagdhad Until You've Seen It from the Suburbs

Liberal Security Guard: Man, we are fucking up this War! He's killin all those people in Iraq and Afghanistan!
Conservative Security Guard: Man, what do you know about Afghanistan and Iraq?
Liberal Security Guard: I know we are destroyin' they country and we killin' all their people!
Conservative Security Guard, yelling: MAN, YOU EVER BEEN TO IRAQ? YOU EVER BEEN TO AFGHANISTAN? I HAVE!
Liberal Security Guard: I been there!
Conservative Security Guard: Man, you ain't never been outta the city!

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Brian


…Senator

Overworked administrator: I mean, not doing your job *and* being ugly on top of it is two offenses.

Nashville, Tennessee