Cubicle neighbor on phone: I’ll hold this and you just poke your balls in that hole and lets see what happens.
Dothan, Alabama
Overheard by: Too Close for comfort co-worker
Cubicle neighbor on phone: I’ll hold this and you just poke your balls in that hole and lets see what happens.
Dothan, Alabama
Overheard by: Too Close for comfort co-worker
Cube dweller: I’ve just seen Chewbacca. Seriously!
Montreal
Canadia
Guy replacing receptionist: We should get a blow-up doll for the desk…
Manager: I wish we could.
(receptionist starts laughing hysterically)
Guy replacing receptionist: I didn’t even mean it like that!
Austin, Texas
Liberal Security Guard: Man, we are fucking up this War! He’s killin all those people in Iraq and Afghanistan!
Conservative Security Guard: Man, what do you know about Afghanistan and Iraq?
Liberal Security Guard: I know we are destroyin’ they country and we killin’ all their people!
Conservative Security Guard, yelling: MAN, YOU EVER BEEN TO IRAQ? YOU EVER BEEN TO AFGHANISTAN? I HAVE!
Liberal Security Guard: I been there!
Conservative Security Guard: Man, you ain’t never been outta the city!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Brian
Programmer on phone: I struggle with the difference between logical and physical.
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Manager: Gross. Not only were you gargling, you were gargling with tuna.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: office ninja
Overworked administrator: I mean, not doing your job *and* being ugly on top of it is two offenses.
Nashville, Tennessee
Systems engineer: I am afraid it’s going to die before I can kill it.
Waltham, Massachusetts
Christian colleague: You’re a good Christian. Wait, is Jewish Christian?
Jewish colleague: No.
Christian colleague: Well, you’re a good person.
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Pharmacist: Can I help you?
Girl: Yes. I’m looking for a vitamin but I forgot the name of it. Also, it may not be a vitamin.
Pharmacist: Ok…
Toronto
Canadia
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist