Boss to office: Man, I’m busier than a one-legged monkey in an ass-kissing contest.
Atlanta, Georgia
Archive for October, 2011
This is the South. So, No.
Job interviewee on speaker phone, broadcasting to half the floor: I’m a Christian, but I don’t beat people over the head with it. Are there any churches in the area that I might feel comfortable in?
Dallas, Texas
eBay’s Always Breaking New Ground
Guy working at Chelsea piers: No, we have all the dead girls we need, thanks.
Manhattan, New York
Dude, You Have to Stop with the 1 – 900 Phone Calls
Intern, on phone: Dance, monkey, dance!
Manhattan, New York
I Sent Some Documents Federal Espresso
Middle aged woman: Do we have a fax machine?
Secretary: Yeah, it’s in the break room, on the counter.
Middle aged woman: Oh. I thought that was a coffee pot.
Omaha, Nebraska
…Enjoying It?
Office worker #1: Were you asked about sodomy today?
Office worker #2: Yep!
Office worker #1: So, how’d that work out for ya?
Nashville, Tennessee
Steupid Bozs Stoory
Employee #1: Hey, do you know if the search field for this database is case sensitive?
Employee #2: No, I don’t think so.
Boss: No, but it’s really spelling sensitive!
Alamosa, Colorado
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
And Then Have a Drink
Coworker #1: Well, sometimes you just have to put your foot down. You can’t drink in the office.
Coworker #2: I’d like to put my foot down on her face.
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Passerby in Hall
And, Ideally, Camel Toe
Marketing rep, about intern that just stepped off elevator: Does she not know what size she wears?
PR person: She’s young. I think that’s the style.
Marketing Rep: What, tights with rolls?
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Question Girl
That Old Excuse?
Office guy: You may want to go get coffee.
Office girl: Is that where you told them I was?
Office guy: What was I supposed to say? (pause) Umm… “she’s having a naked picture crisis, I am sure she will be back soon”?
Boston, Massachusetts
