Administrative assistant: I just wanted to touch bases with you before I touch base with you later.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Sean
Archive for October, 2011
How Much Time Do We Have?
Customer: No whipped cream on the top, please.
Barista: Would you like whipped cream anywhere else?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Little Miss Decaf
Why not splurge, and use the real thing? We're worth it.
Worker: Does anybody know where the fake poop is? I want to put it on the soap dispenser in the bathroom.
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: is it lunchtime yet?
Good Idea: Start Small.
Paralegal: So I figured, if I wanna be a nurse, I can wash a midget.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Note to self: Revise “open office policy”
Vice President: Why are you late?
Employee: Because I was fucking your daughter all night.
Laurel, Mississippi
Overheard by: Serverboy
Tell It to Me in the Supply Closet, Nice and Slow
Supervisor: Geez, does she like anything?
(drone opens mouth to answer)
Supervisor: Don't answer that on the sales floor.
North Hampton, New Hampshire
Overheard by: R.T.
I'm more like a Spice Girl, circa first album
CSR on the phone: I need you to tell me what you want, I'm not Miss Cleo.
American Fork, Utah
Overheard by: Strife
Come to Think of It, I've Never Seen a Regular Envelope with a Korean Return Address, Either
Boss: So they're either shipping the computer from Japan or Korea.
Intern: Japan sounds about right.
Boss: Unless it's coming from Korea. In which case they might be strapping it to a missile and sending it over here.
Geneseo, New York
I'm Cured!
Developer #1: You smell like bacon.
Developer #2, delighted: Thank you!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: kerminator
It's All Part of Their Buildup Toward CSI: Idaho
Coworker #1: Ewwww! It says here CBS is going to put laser imprints of its logo on eggs.
Coworker #2: I didn't know CBS sold eggs.
Marblehead, Massachusetts
Overheard by: They're going to know it was me