Administrative assistant: I just wanted to touch bases with you before I touch base with you later.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Sean
Administrative assistant: I just wanted to touch bases with you before I touch base with you later.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Sean
Worker: Does anybody know where the fake poop is? I want to put it on the soap dispenser in the bathroom.
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: is it lunchtime yet?
Vice President: Why are you late?
Employee: Because I was fucking your daughter all night.
Laurel, Mississippi
Overheard by: Serverboy
Supervisor: Geez, does she like anything?
(drone opens mouth to answer)
Supervisor: Don’t answer that on the sales floor.
North Hampton, New Hampshire
Overheard by: R.T.
CSR on the phone: I need you to tell me what you want, I’m not Miss Cleo.
American Fork, Utah
Overheard by: Strife
Boss: So they’re either shipping the computer from Japan or Korea.
Intern: Japan sounds about right.
Boss: Unless it’s coming from Korea. In which case they might be strapping it to a missile and sending it over here.
Geneseo, New York
Developer #1: You smell like bacon.
Developer #2, delighted: Thank you!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: kerminator
Coworker #1: Ewwww! It says here CBS is going to put laser imprints of its logo on eggs.
Coworker #2: I didn’t know CBS sold eggs.
Marblehead, Massachusetts
Overheard by: They’re going to know it was me
Coworker #1: So you don’t eat chicken?
Coworker #2: Nope.
Coworker #1: What about pork?
Coworker #2: Nope.
Coworker #1: What about rooster?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Copy Editor: She looked at me and it was like… Eye of Saruman.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: inothernews
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist