Maintenance worker: I’d rather owe a dead man 30 dollars.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Archive for August, 2011
…Since “Watson” Kicked Ass on Jeopardy
Manager to another: Actually, ‘due diligence’ is for the unsuccessful.
Charlotte, North Carolina
You Are Correct, but Not for the Reasons You Think.
Southern woman, responding to coworker’s story: You might could do it.
Southern coworker who told the story: There ain’t no might could about it, y’all!
Georgia
Overheard by: Yankee new to the South
I’m Exhausted from All the Sashaying and Jazz Hands
Girl: You mean gay Blair, or not-gay Blair?
Guy: Guy: Awww, fuck — one of them’s not gay? I’ve been talking to both like they’re faggots.
Manhattan, New York
Is That Kosher at Work? Discuss.
Employee girl: Hey, can I have your pickle again today?
Employee guy: I was wondering when you were going to ask for it. Where do you want it?
Employee girl: Here is fine. (to receptionist) I always eat his pickle.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Cubicle Dweller
Kirstie Alley Has a New Frangrance
Boss to underling: When I told you that you smelled like bacon grease, it was a compliment!
Mountain View, Wyoming
Overheard by: Meagan
Paper Towel?
Sales rep, shouting at the top of her lungs on sales floor: I’ve never dialed into a sex line before, in all my years here.
Keene, New Hampshire
The Dark Side Of Rubber Stamping
Guy #1: Oh, that’s sticky. Touch it.
Guy #2: I don’t want to touch it. I just washed my hands.
Guy #1: Come on!
Guy #2, touches rubber stamp: Oh, that is sticky! Gross!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
…Or Just Jealous?
Worker #1: Jane* is leaving. Not to a different job, just to figure stuff out.
Worker #2: I wonder where she’s going…
Worker #3: Well, she could move. She has no family. No kids. No husband or partner.
Worker #4: Oh, then maybe she’s just going to go kill herself.
Worker #1: I think she just saw Eat Pray Love.
Worker #2: Are you guys being sarcastic?
Reston, Virginia
I Try Never to Talk to Her
Help desk manager: Hey, do you have that power supply for a Mac mini?
Microsoft exchange admin: What’s a mini?
Hardware tech: You should ask your wife.
Help desk phone tech: Heyo!
Los Angeles, California
