Maintenance worker: I'd rather owe a dead man 30 dollars.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Archive for August, 2011
…Since “Watson” Kicked Ass on Jeopardy
Manager to another: Actually, 'due diligence' is for the unsuccessful.
Charlotte, North Carolina
You Are Correct, but Not for the Reasons You Think.
Southern woman, responding to coworker's story: You might could do it.
Southern coworker who told the story: There ain't no might could about it, y'all!
Georgia
Overheard by: Yankee new to the South
And I'm Saying, “Your Water Breaks in It, You Bought It.”
Older secretary lady: Childbirth is such a magical experience, unlike anything else in the world. It's just so amazing, you wont understand until you're a mom.
20-something female coworker: Um… All I asked was if I could reserve the company van!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Vans have feelings too
Or Every Episode Of Steven Seagal: Lawman
Supervisor: Was this class as bad I thought?
Female cop, leaving seminar, about instructor: He likes to say 'quick and dirty' way too much and the dude rambles like a drunk riding a bicycle.
Louisiana State Police Head Quarters
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: i snuck out early, too
So If You Need a Place to Hang Your Coat…
Agent, about actor: His nose shames Pinocchio!
Studio City, California
It Was Joe Something, Right?
Coworker: Whoever invented coffee was amazing!!
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: thought God did that?
I'm Exhausted from All the Sashaying and Jazz Hands
Girl: You mean gay Blair, or not-gay Blair?
Guy: Guy: Awww, fuck – one of them's not gay? I've been talking to both like they're faggots.
Manhattan, New York
Is That Kosher at Work? Discuss.
Employee girl: Hey, can I have your pickle again today?
Employee guy: I was wondering when you were going to ask for it. Where do you want it?
Employee girl: Here is fine. (to receptionist) I always eat his pickle.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Cubicle Dweller
Kirstie Alley Has a New Frangrance
Boss to underling: When I told you that you smelled like bacon grease, it was a compliment!
Mountain View, Wyoming
Overheard by: Meagan