Man at urinal: What I would really like to know is why my piss smells like tuna.
Men’s Room
Chicago, Illinois
Archive for June, 2011
Michigan Gals Are Famous for Their Deep Discounts
Male furniture salesperson to female furniture salesperson: Did you go down on those two women yet?
Howell, Michigan
…After Digging Him Up
Portly IT guy on phone: That’s almost as bad as my cousin kicking a dead man in the head and breaking his jaw.
Jacksonville, Florida
The Rwandan Civil War Comes to New Jersey
Coworker #1: We need printing guidelines for clients.
Coworker #2: I don’t care what they print on: Mylar, Duratran, paper-machete…
Kenilworth, New Jersey
Overheard by: Scared Employee
Worst. Second Job. Ever.
Interviewer: In you medical record it states you had tuberculosis, how did you come across that?
Former sailor/job seeker: I dunno… Probably the whorehouses.
La Plata, Maryland
Overheard by: Got the job ayway!
Mock Turtle Soup? It Certainly Is.
Coworker #1, seeing coworker #2 bring a plate of food: Don’t expect this all the time. By the way, thanks for breakfast this morning.
Coworker #2: See? It’s quid faux crow!
Coworker #1: Umm… No. It’s not.
Leawood, Kansas
Overheard by: The Grammar Nazi
Wasn’t There a Creepy SVU Episode with This Plot?
Chubby worker to young girl: Your hat is so cute! My niece would love it. Where did you get it?
Young girl in beaded hat: Limited Too!
Chubby worker, after girl has left: I don’t have a niece. I will have that hat!
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts
Don’t You People Play Video Games?
Coworker: Where’s Qatar?
Office assistant in early twenties: The Middle East. It’s where we were in Desert Storm.
Whole office: Oh, you were in Desert Storm?
Office assistant in early twenties: No no no no! I mean “we” as in… like… America.
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: nick T.
Why Would a Dog-Grooming Machine Have a Purée Cycle, Though
Engineer coworker on phone: I’ve got this article. You should read it. It’s a patent. We could do this!
Wisconsin
In That If You Give Them Money, They Give You Goods?
Clueless coworker, holding up bracelet she found at H&M: The store is exactly like Forever 21.
Patienceless coworker, raising eyebrows: No. It’s not… at all! Not even remotely.
Clueless coworker: Well, it’s kinda sorta similar in some ways.
Sacramento, California
