Paralegal: What if the documents aren’t there?
Lawyer: I’m going to get black-out drunk.
Manhattan, New York
Archive for March, 2011
As Discussed in the Classic Children’s Book Llama Llama, Lost Her Momma
Coworker: So she was telling me she had no money to pay her bill because she invested all her money into a llama farm, and then the llamas got slaughtered.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: WD40
It’s “Overpromise and Underdeliver,” Right?
Coworker on phone: I’m not married to anything on this team. We’re just dating. I mean, there’s definitely some heavy petting going on, but we are not going all the way. This client is not getting my v‑card.
Seattle, Washington
Then I Ejaculated Into a Snowdrift
CSR, about cleaning off his snow-covered car: I took care of myself at lunch.
Bedford, Massachusetts
But I Have Nervous Ticks!
Dental hygienist to patient in nearby room: You should stop taking your dog’s medicine. The dog might need it someday.
Manhattan, New York
Personally, I Support Abortion Until the 18-Year Mark.
Confused cube dweller: Is a baby a person?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Um, This Is a Bunsen Burner, Ma’am.
Teacher: Just pretend it’s Russian and nail it.
Bowling Green, Ohio
Like a Mac?
CSR: You’ll need a computer to do that.
Customer: Like a real computer?
CSR: No, a fake computer.
Niles, Illinois
…So Do I Have the Principal Job or What?
Vice principal at Catholic high school: I’m really into sausage.
Aurora, Illinois
I Took My Last Tab Of Acid at Lunch
Coworker, looking through her purse: Huh…I wonder what this pill is for…
Plano,Texas
Overheard by: Steph
