Employee #1: Ya know what’s a funny word? “Vagina.“
Employee #2: Um… Why?
Employee #1: Well, because nothing rhymes with it. (pause) Well… Except Aunt Jemima. (pause) But that’s more of a name.
Employee #2: No, I meant why are you even telling me this?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Not being productive at work today…obviously
Accounting manager to IT manager, after lengthy discussion on software solution: You’re not right, but that will work.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: makes sense
Coworker on phone: Are you sitting down? Okay… I need you to understand you do not feed dog food to your sister. What you did was not okay. Your punishment is no iPod, no computer, no television, you are grounded to your room. You love to write, right? Well, I want you to go to your room and write a story of two sisters who love each other, but one sister was mean and tricked her sister into eating dog food. This sister must apologize to her sister that she tricked, and to mom and dad. You will read this story aloud.
Silicon Valley
California
Female billing agent on cell: Girl, you should have seen me on Saturday I was sweatin, I had cake all in my hair… I. Was. A. Mess.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
IT gal on phone: Well, that’s what you get for knowing so much! If you only knew one thing, like me, it’d be easy… And I don’t even know it that well!
Kansas City, Missouri
Older male worker: I ate a live scallop once. Kinda weird, the way it pulsed in my mouth.
Young female worker: Oh my god! I could never put anything that throbbed in my mouth!
Older male worker: This conversation is over.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: TechWritingGuy
Foreign coworker: I once see on TV a show with so many beautiful women. Later they said they were all men. I felt like jumping off building after that.
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Coworker: What are you wearing tomorrow?
Project manager: Oh, like for the trip?
Coworker: You should wear something really low-cut. It’s gonna be a bunch of men. You need an edge.
Project manager: It’s a group of like twenty women. All of them are women.
Coworker: Do you know if any of them are gay?
Manhattan, New York
Intern: Why would he take a picture of an orange chicken?
Associate: That’s his prostate.
Intern: Oh. That makes sense.
Beverly Hills, California
Director: So, Amy* wants to know if you’d like to have dinner with her and Sandy* and I next weekend. But I told her I’d have to take the gag out to ask you. She said she understood.
Model wearing gag: Mmmm fweee nnn maturdway.
Director: Great, I’ll let her know!
Adult Film Company
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist