Disgruntled teacher: Well, we need advance notice when the file server’s going to be down, especially when we work on final exams and stuff.
Principal: Duly noted.
Tall teacher: And ignored.
Hancock, New York
Archive for 2010
Except That We’ll Need a Lightning Rod and the Old Clocktower
Repair tech: Did you happen to get any details about that equipment not working?
CSR: Why would I? Look, if the client tells me the flux capacitor is broken, I’m not going to know what that means.
Olathe, Kansas
Why Engineers and Writers Need Each Other
Writer: I’m really bummed that my boss is leaving, and I think everyone in the group is going to quit.
Engineer: I can’t think of anyone else from downstairs who is leaving. But there have been a lot of defects.
Writer: That, and defections.
Engineer: What’s the difference?
Alpharetta, Georgia
So We Weren’t Supposed to Show Up Naked?
President: Yeah, we took that picture after we went to that stupid place in New York. Remember that?
CEO: Oh yeah, that place… That sex place!
Marketing coordinator: You mean the Museum of Sex?
President: God, yes! You’ve been there?
Marketing coordinator: Yeah… It was really kind of cool.
CEO: No, no, no, it was bo-ring. There were all these pictures, and words, and art…
Marketing coordinator: Oh, I see your confusion… That was the museum part.
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Not Surprised
And He’s Really Abusing Those Balls.
Apathetic nurse: Yeah, we’ve got one more patient and he’s back there playing.
Jealous nurse: What? Who’s he playing with?
Apathetic nurse: What are you talking about?
Jealous nurse: What are you talking about?
Apathetic nurse: Ping pong.
Jealous nurse: Oh. I thought you meant something else.
Apathetic nurse: No.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
I Was Happier When This Was an All-Idiot Company
Manager #1, waiting for elevator: He said it was intermittent.
Manager #2: He said it was what?
Manager #1: You know, like in her mittens.
Manager #2: Oh, in her mittens.
Manager #1: Yeah, mittens. (makes lobster claw motions with hand)
Manager #2: I never understand a word that comes out of his mouth.
Middleton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: The Receptionist
The Most Exciting Thing That’s Ever Happened in Charlotte, NC
Girl #1, walking into the office: Boys! Sheesh!
Girl #2: What’s going on?
Girl #1: The guys are all out there looking at the hole.
Girl #2: What hole?
Girl #1: The guy came to dig up the bushes by the driveway.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? I didn’t even notice they were gone when I pulled in…
Girl #1: They just did it.
Girl #2: In the half-hour I’ve been here?
Girl #1: They had a big machine that just yanked them up.
Girl #2, moving to front door and looking for hole: Oh, yeah? Hmm…
Charlotte, North Carolina
Okay, I’m Listening. Go On.
Grocery store clerk: What is this?
Customer: It’s a cucumber.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: The Natural EMP
What? You Thought I Wouldn’t Notice?
Manager at IT training: For this project we’re going to need buy-in from all of you.
Other managers: We agree.
Manager: Because every time we try to do a project like this, you buy-out right away.
McGill College
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: IT Trainer
Only the Quality Ones.
Newspaper reporter interviewing designer about home design: So this might sound like a silly question, but are mirrors made of glass?
Tampa, Florida
