Archive for 2010

So We Weren’t Sup­posed to Show Up Naked?

Pres­i­dent: Yeah, we took that pic­ture af­ter we went to that stu­pid place in New York. Re­mem­ber that?
CEO: Oh yeah, that place… That sex place!
Mar­ket­ing co­or­di­na­tor: You mean the Mu­se­um of Sex?
Pres­i­dent: God, yes! You’ve been there?
Mar­ket­ing co­or­di­na­tor: Yeah… It was re­al­ly kind of cool.
CEO: No, no, no, it was bo-ring. There were all these pic­tures, and words, and art…
Mar­ket­ing co­or­di­na­tor: Oh, I see your con­fu­sion… That was the mu­se­um part.

Taco­ma, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Not Sur­prised

And He’s Re­al­ly Abus­ing Those Balls.

Ap­a­thet­ic nurse: Yeah, we’ve got one more pa­tient and he’s back there play­ing.
Jeal­ous nurse: What? Who’s he play­ing with?
Ap­a­thet­ic nurse: What are you talk­ing about?
Jeal­ous nurse: What are you talk­ing about?
Ap­a­thet­ic nurse: Ping pong.
Jeal­ous nurse: Oh. I thought you meant some­thing else.
Ap­a­thet­ic nurse: No.

Ok­la­homa City, Ok­la­homa

I Was Hap­pi­er When This Was an All-Id­iot Com­pa­ny

Man­ag­er #1, wait­ing for el­e­va­tor: He said it was in­ter­mit­tent.
Man­ag­er #2: He said it was what?
Man­ag­er #1: You know, like in her mit­tens.
Man­ag­er #2: Oh, in her mit­tens.
Man­ag­er #1: Yeah, mit­tens. (makes lob­ster claw mo­tions with hand)
Man­ag­er #2: I nev­er un­der­stand a word that comes out of his mouth.

Mid­dle­ton, Wis­con­sin

Over­heard by: The Re­cep­tion­ist

The Most Ex­cit­ing Thing That’s Ever Hap­pened in Char­lotte, NC

Girl #1, walk­ing in­to the of­fice: Boys! Sheesh!
Girl #2: What’s go­ing on?
Girl #1: The guys are all out there look­ing at the hole.
Girl #2: What hole?
Girl #1: The guy came to dig up the bush­es by the dri­ve­way.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? I did­n’t even no­tice they were gone when I pulled in…
Girl #1: They just did it.
Girl #2: In the half-hour I’ve been here?
Girl #1: They had a big ma­chine that just yanked them up.
Girl #2, mov­ing to front door and look­ing for hole: Oh, yeah? Hmm…

Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na