Archive for 2010

No, but San­ta Did Bring Me Menopause

Naive in­tern: Soo… Bob* from IT asked me if I want­ed to go see Blue Man Group with him last week, and so I ca­su­al­ly said I had plans with my boyfriend, to let him know I was spo­ken for, you know?
Of­fice bitch: I’m sor­ry, I don’t see the prob­lem.
Naive in­tern: Well, ever since then he won’t leave me alone and keeps ask­ing me to hang out. Un­til I men­tioned I had a boyfriend he would­n’t even talk to me!
Of­fice bitch: Have you con­sid­ered the pos­si­bil­i­ty that maybe he just wants to be your friend?
Av­er­age work­er: Woah! Look who got a soul for Christ­mas!

Woburn, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: i got coal.…

I Blame Fish­er-Price

Nor­mal­ly qui­et fe­male VP: Are you kid­ding me? The cops here are all vi­o­lent wan­na-be cow­boys, over­com­pen­sat­ing for the butt-plugs and kid­die porn in their sock draw­ers!

Austin, Texas

Over­heard by: very qui­et­ly agrees

…Which Brings Me to the In­dy 500

Male cowork­er #1: Sup­posed to get up to fifty this week­end!
Male cowork­er #2: Yup.
Male cowork­er #1: Folks are gonna looooove that.
Male cowork­er #2: Yep. Es­pe­cial­ly the doc­tors.
Male cowork­er #1: What?
Male cowork­er #2: Yeah, cuz you know when it gets warm every­one takes off their coats and then gets a cold and they have to go to the doc­tor, and he gets to poke them in the butt.

Crane, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Dr. J