Archive for 2010

Nev­er Hire a Bal­le­ri­na

Cowork­er on cell: I have a con­fes­sion to make fast, horse peeps! Are you ready for this? (pause) The rea­son I have to go home is to do num­ber two. Be­cause last time I think it came out like a sub­way sand­wich. And the toi­let doesn?t work up­stairs any­more. (pause) Yes, that was me! So there, I feel bet­ter now.

Min­neapo­lis, Min­neso­ta

Over­heard by: Trevor Arnold

How Much Crank Does That Take?

Fe­male cowork­er: I re­ceived your col­lec­tions file for the $57,700.00 claim. Have you run an as­set check on this la­dy to see if she has any­thing we can file suit against?
Male cowork­er: No. When I spoke to her she sound­ed bare­foot, preg­nant, and poor. Like she was liv­ing with some­one else.
Fe­male cowork­er: I did­n’t re­al­ize you could get all of that from some­one’s voice.
Male cowork­er: I’m crunk. I’m good.

Ba­ton Rouge, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Not Crunk