Archive for 2010

If Your Ed­i­tors Had a Slap Chop, We’d Abuse It Every Day

Cowork­er #1: Slap chop? Oh, that guy is hi­lar­i­ous!
Cowork­er #2: Oh, yeah, he went to jail. For get­ting beat­en up by a hook­er!
Cowork­er #1: What? She beat him up, or he beat her up?
Cowork­er #2: He hit her, and she punched him back in the eye. His mugshot has a big black eye in it.
Cowork­er #1: See, he should have got­ten a dain­tier hook­er.
Cowork­er #2: Yeah… That’s the moral of the sto­ry.

Re­ston, Vir­ginia

…O Most De­spi­ca­ble Of Hu­man Crea­tures?

Em­ploy­ee stock­ing make­up shelves to an­oth­er: Yeah… They come here and ask me some­thing and I’m like “that’s in gro­ceries,” and they say, “well, where are gro­ceries?” and that’s why I just hate cus­tomers. (no­tices cus­tomer, who has been stand­ing there the en­tire time) Oh, hi! Can I help you with any­thing?

Con­ley Dri­ve
Co­lum­bia, Mis­souri