Archive for 2010

Was It Bet­ter When Peo­ple Did­n’t Dis­cuss Their Vagi­nas at Work? Dis­cuss.

Su­per preg­nant co-work­er to new hire: Oh my god, it’s like I can feel his face push­ing up against my vagi­na when­ev­er I walk!
(new hire stares in stunned si­lence)
Su­per preg­nant co-work­er, at­tempt­ing to backpedal: Well, I mean, not all the time. But if I walk re­al­ly fast then I get wor­ried it’ll mess up his face! Like, “woah, dude, what hap­pened to your nose?” “My mom had a re­al­ly heavy gait when I was in utero, man.”

New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: So, what does it feel like when you sit?

Read­ers, What’s the Next Line? Show Your Work.

Em­ploy­ee #1, try­ing to put flash dri­ve in front USB port: It won’t fit.
Em­ploy­ee #2: That’s what she said.
Em­ploy­ee #1: Se­ri­ous­ly, it’s too big!
Em­ploy­ee #2: That’s what she said!
Em­ploy­ee #3: Well, try it in the back.
Em­ploy­ee #2: That’s what she said!
Em­ploy­ee #1: It’s in!
Em­ploy­ee #2: That’s what she said!
Em­ploy­ees #1 & #3: Shut up, Dave*!

Port Or­chard, Wash­ing­ton