IT worker: I might not know exactly how to do it, but if you want it pounded in quick and dirty, I am your man.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: ZPB
Archive for August, 2010
Then Explain Marcia Cross, Smart Guy.
Employee #1: What would you be? A zombie or a zombie hunter?
Employee #2: I think I'd just be a victim.
Employee #1: A vampire?
Employee #3, derisively: Vampires aren't real.
Chico, California
Overheard by: Dinah
…What's a “Quote”?
College-educated marketing coordinator: Do you know what he's asking for?
Designer: He wants you to get a quote to print the postcards.
College-educated marketing coordinator: I know, but what does “two comma one hundred” mean?
Designer: He wants a quote on two-thousand, one hundred postcards.
College-educated marketing coordinator: Oh.
Pennsylvania
Most Meetings Leave Everyone Unsatisfied
Coworker in impromptu meeting between cubicles: I don't mind being yanked, as long as the yanking continues until it's done.
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Computers Look You Right in the Eye and Lie
Admin #1: The new software says ” loading.”
Admin #2: Oh. What does that mean?
Admin #1: It means it's not loading.
Orlando, Florida
Not a Good One
Accountant: I'm anti math.
Intern: Aren't you an accountant?
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: Meg
Um, Actually…
Worker: It's not sexual harassment if it's implied.
Orange County, California
Overheard by: Kristina
The Subtext Of Every BP Press Conference
Female cube rat #1: I got gasoline panties and I'm going to hell. Hahahahaha!
Female cube rat #2: Gasoline panties? What?
Female cube rat #1: Gasoline panties! And I'm burning in hell! Hehehe!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
…But First I'd Like Everyone to Come Take a Good Long Look at It.
Employee, about data extract: Wow! You know, this is kinda big.
Manager: Oh? Just put it in the share drive.
Employee: I think I'll just zip it up before I give it to you.
Manager: What?
Employee yelling: I said I don't think you'll want it, because it's too big to give to you, so I'll have to zip it back up.
Walnut Creek, California
Yes, but I Assumed You Supported a Woman's Right to Chews.
Loud colleague to coworkers: Did you eat my teeth?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused